Communication War Zone On Celebrity Rehab 4

 

Do you understand the
words that are coming out of my mouth? 
Learning to communicate is one of the most difficult things for addicts
in recovery to learn. How we communicated in the past doesn’t work. Witnessing
the scene between Jason Davis and Frankie Lons clearly exemplifies a lack of

knowing how to communicate effectively when one is angry, frustrated and upset.
Some may feel that cussing someone out is an infantile way to show your
frustration with an individual, however in the case of these two, what other
way would they communicate? They used the only method of communication that
would feel comfortable to them. Although it may seem ridiculous to non-addicts,
the way that Jason and Frankie spoke to each other is a perfectly normal and
acceptable to them. It wasn’t wrong or mean, it is the only way they know how
to communicate at this point of their recovery. Without the proper tools, the
conversations occurring among addicts will remind most of conversations they
had in junior high. This is due to the stunted mental growth that is common
among addicts. Our growth is stunted from the time that we started using until
the time we become clean. Imagine how frustrating it would be to be 50 years of
age with the maturity and developmental age of a 20 year old. What tools could
they have used to communicate more effectively?

 

Tools for communicating in an effective manner are not
learned overnight. Addicts need to learn how to listen before they can learn
how to be heard. The brain of an addict is wired differently, although they
don’t mean to suck all of the oxygen out of the room, it is inevitable. Until
the addict is able to calm their brain long enough to make sense of the
insanity of their addiction, they won’t have the ability to even listen to
anyone. They will feel like they are under constant attack and be on the
defensive. Slowly but surely, the ability to talk and have a conversation that
isn’t self-centric will come over time if the addict is willing to learn. The
initial baby steps must include learning how to actively and reflectively
listen. There is a saying among recovering addicts, for the first year of
sobriety, take the cotton balls out of your ears and put them in your mouth,
you will be amazed at the results. 

Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? Learning to communicate is one of the most difficult things for addicts in recovery to learn. How we communicated in the past doesn’t work. Witnessing the scene between Jason Davis and Frankie Lons clearly exemplifies a lack of knowing how to communicate effectively when one is angry, frustrated and upset. Some may feel that cussing someone out is an infantile way to show your frustration with an individual, however in the case of these two, what other way would they communicate? They used the only method of communication that would feel comfortable to them. Although it may seem ridiculous to non-addicts, the way that Jason and Frankie spoke to each other is a perfectly normal and acceptable to them. It wasn’t wrong or mean, it is the only way they know how to communicate at this point of their recovery. Without the proper tools, the conversations occurring among addicts will remind most of conversations they had in junior high. This is due to the stunted mental growth that is common among addicts. Our growth is stunted from the time that we started using until the time we become clean. Imagine how frustrating it would be to be 50 years of age with the maturity and developmental age of a 20 year old. What tools could they have used to communicate more effectively?

Tools for communicating in an effective manner are not learned overnight. Addicts need to learn how to listen before they can learn how to be heard. The brain of an addict is wired differently, although they don’t mean to suck all of the oxygen out of the room, it is inevitable. Until the addict is able to calm their brain long enough to make sense of the insanity of their addiction, they won’t have the ability to even listen to anyone. They will feel like they are under constant attack and be on the defensive. Slowly but surely, the ability to talk and have a conversation that isn’t self-centric will come over time if the addict is willing to learn. The initial baby steps must include learning how to actively and reflectively listen. There is a saying among recovering addicts, for the first year of sobriety, take the cotton balls out of your ears and put them in your mouth, you will be amazed at the results.