When Meredith Gaudreau married NHL star Johnny Gaudreau, she thought they had a lifetime ahead of them. But everything changed in an instant last August, when Johnny and his younger brother Matthew were tragically killed by an alleged drunk driver while out riding bikes—just one day before their sister Katie’s wedding.
Now, nearly a year later, Meredith is sharing her grief in an emotional letter published by The Player’s Tribune, addressed directly to Johnny. Her words are raw, honest, and full of the kind of love that doesn’t fade with time.
“It was going to be a great day,” she writes, remembering the morning of the accident. Johnny, always a devoted dad, had made breakfast for their two young children—Noa, now 2, and Johnny, now 1—and spent time with the family before heading off to a golf outing with his brother. “You kissed all of us goodbye and said you’d see us later. And that was that,” she recalls.
But not long after, Meredith got a call from Johnny’s sister. “Something had happened,” she was told. She rushed to his parents’ house, expecting to comfort Johnny about Matthew. “And then I walked up the front porch and learned the absolute worst had happened and that it was both of you,” she writes.
Meredith was pregnant at the time with their third child, Carter, who is now two months old. The grief hit her like a tidal wave. “I was in shock,” she says. “I was keeled over for days sick to my stomach. It’s completely indescribable.”
She remembers trying to process the pain while also thinking of Matthew’s wife, Madeline, who had just celebrated a gender reveal with the whole family. “I see her and my heart breaks for her. I’m sick for her,” Meredith shares. “Matty made me laugh so much that weekend.”
Even in the fog of heartbreak, she had to keep moving forward. “I had to go to the doctor for our third baby. The first of my appointments where you weren’t holding my hand,” she writes. “I looked at Noa and baby Johnny and I felt a pain that I hadn’t felt before. Our two babies who have to grow up without their dad, without their amazing uncle.”
Despite the loss, Meredith has been determined to honor Johnny’s legacy. She’s shared his memory online, attended NHL games, and even got a tattoo made with some of his ashes. But nothing can fill the void. “I miss you every second of every day,” she writes. “My love grows deeper for you each day too.”
To close her letter, Meredith says the words every spouse longs to hear and say: “Thank you for the very best years of my life. Thank you for making us a family. Thank you for being my best friend, my favorite person, the man of my dreams. I love you so much. Forever and ever.”
Her words are a beautiful reminder of the sacred bond of marriage—of love, loss, and a promise that still endures, even in the darkest valley.