Excellent Bible verse to help calm my nerves as I wait for the results of my blood test to see if the chemo is working:

1 Peter 5:6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, 7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 8 Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. 10 And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 11 To him be the dominion forever and ever. Amen.

I’ve been pretty anxious about it, so this is a good verse for me to pray.
I’ve had weekly chemo since the beginning of the month with one week off to give my immune system a chance to repair itself. The chemo is a low dose so there haven’t been many side-effects. My friends have been taking me which keeps me from being depressed that I’m back on chemo again.
I know in some ways I’m blessed because it could be worse but it’s still bad enough. There is cancer on my intestines so I have abdominal pain daily. I almost didn’t make it to church today because the pain was so severe but it passed and I was able to attend.
The tumor is producing fluid (like it did when I first realized something was wrong — then the fluid was a blessing but now it’s a curse), they removed almost a liter of fluid from my abdomen. I wish it had been more because I am extremely uncomfortable. I’m on a diet and exercise program to try and reduce the size of my abdomen. I walked on the treadmill for 30 minutes today and yesterday (which is pretty much an accomplishment since I’ve been sedentary lately). I walked about 1.5 miles with an incline of 4 and 5 (today). It’s helped so I hope I’m able to keep pushing myself to do it (it also has helped with the depression).
But as hard as the physical pain has been, the emotional pain has been worse. It’s been pretty difficult not to give up hope. I struggle and sometimes sink into depression and then the Lord sends someone to cheer me up and remind me that he cares for me. I think that this describes the struggle:

The God of the Bible–the one, true, and only God, however, is the God of the cross. Jesus calls us to submission under his cross and then to bear the cross that he sends us and by which he marks us as his own. He did not come to entertain but to redeem us by his blood. He does not call us to be our own gods but to bend low before his cross in total submission to his Word and then to the cross that he is pleased to send. The cross of his own sending always and of necessity and by definition means struggle for us. The cross is not merely a piece of jewelry worn around the neck but pain carried on the heart and in the soul. Jesus calls us to the cross and sends one after another for us to bear. He bids us imitate him in stumbling under its sometimes crushing weight and to cry out in anguish as he did in the midst of its pain. All of that seems so, well, so un-American. We pursue pleasure, and for every pain there should be an instant remedy. We are addicted to entertainment and want church to be entertaining too. We shun any notion that we live in a veil of tears, in einem rechten Jammerthal, as our forefathers put it. We think that anyone who is in physical or spiritual pain must be sick and in need of therapy that will make him happy again–and soon!
At the same time, the Bible tells us that in the midst of suffering and under the cross, we should rejoice. Yes, it tells us to rejoice constantly and precisely because we are suffering under the weight of the cross that crushes and threatens to destroy us. It assures us again and again that those who rejoice without the cross and those who suffer without joy understand neither true joy nor the value of the cross that God has sent.

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