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Good news from the oncologist, my CA 125 is 7.5. Three months after chemo and the number continues to go down (at least a tiny bit, the last number was 8 🙂 Thank you for your prayers and well-wishes. Praising God for getting me through this devastating disease. When I finished chemo and I started to recover from my last neulasta shot, the thought popped into my mind, “That’s it? That wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be or could have been.” I feel like, what I suspect plane crash survivors feel, shocked that I didn’t die and dazed by the brush with death. And a little guilty that I survived when many others like Farrah Fawcett, Patrick Swayze and Ted Kennedy did not.
Well, one change is how I view aging. I just turned 49 and last year I thought I would be pretty bummed about it since it’s on the cusp of the dreaded 50, but this year I was relieved to make it to 49. I was never so happy to celebrate a number as I was this one, it meant that I made it to the other side. Every year I add to that number is a thing of beauty no matter what I look like 🙂 It means I’m that much closer to seeing my daughters graduate from college and start families of their own. So, going through the aging process? Getting more wrinkly? Adding to my collection of gray hair? Praise be to God that I have the opportunity to do so.
But I will be tested for the next two years, so I live like I’ve dodged the bullet and not worry about dodging another. I’m learning that in God’s grace it’s not too hard to live in three month segments. It makes me appreciate the time that I can live cancer free.