“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality.” (Ephesians 5:3)

Many Christians are engaging in forms of pre-marital sex (with or without the literal act), conveniently assuming that the standard of righteous sexual behavior prior to marriage is ambiguous in Scripture. Ironically, they have a legalistic perspective on what the sex act is. (Depending on what the definition of “is” is?!) Well, Paul certainly hinted at it in Ephesians 5:3. Can you take a hint?

When one hints about something, there is an underlying, implied message. The New Testament isn’t dogmatic; it doesn’t necessarily list emphatic do’s and don’t’s per se. It simply instructs us to keep our consciences clear. So what does constitute sexual immorality in unmarried couples? Answer:  Whatever hints at sexual immortality. This would certainly include a lot of behaviors, particularly anything considered foreplay.

The reason for this is not to undermine our sexual fulfillment! Perish the thought! Great covenantal sex is one way in which Heaven is manifested on earth. It’s a tool to give great glory to God! It’s a weapon of spiritual warfare in our marriages, for it solidifies our marital unity.

Want to keep to God’s ways in your personal sexuality? Here’s an interpretation of Paul’s instructions in Ephesians 5: Don’t do anything with your partner that you wouldn’t do in front of your beloved Grandma, or anyone you love and trust and never want to offend. And remember this: when we get entangled sexually, we often lose our good judgement about the relationship. Things that would otherwise bother us in the other, we set aside in exchange for sexual arousal, and often times relationships fail because red flags were ignored. So use some self-control. You can do this! Put sex on the back burner for a short time. Figure out if this one is THE one by seeking God and seeking godly counsel, and look forward to the best time you could ever possibly dream of after your covenant is firmly in place through marriage.


I’ve screwed up. So very literally. Please forgive and cleanse as you have promised in Your Word. I determine to remain true to your Word until You have released the spouse of your choosing into my life. I receive your forgiveness! Please teach me Your Truths so I can walk in your ways in every area of my life! Give me the fear of you, which, simply put, is the fear of messing up my life by ignoring Your precepts.


But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. (1 John 1:9)

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