Dear friends, I recently completed a year of doing my column “Parenting on Purpose” and I’ve written my last article, at least for now. It has been a wonderful year and I have very much appreciated your support! It has been so gratifying to hear from you, and answer questions you’ve had regarding the very important […]
You can actually learn from your children when they are very young that there are no bad emotions. They come into the world filled with possibilities and are open to all experiences and emotions. They cry out of discomfort, from being hungry or wet, as freely as they laugh and smile with joy. Children do not later berate themselves for crying earlier. They recognize that is just how they were feeling at that moment, and don’t give it a second thought.
Everyone starts life this way, but unfortunately, most of us learned to interpret these emotions as being unpleasant, or at the very least, less desirable than the “good” emotions such as joy or love.
Very young children are sponges, so they pick up the reactions of others and learn what is acceptable and how to feel about themselves. This includes feelings, and as an adult, you may not be as comfortable showcasing emotion as easily as you once did.
The first step then in teaching your children to accept the full range of human emotion is to do that for yourself first. If you have to cry, let it out. Worrying about how others will act and think of you only serves to further inhibit your behavior and may pass the same sensibility onto your children.
What are emotions, anyway? They are indicators, telling you what you are attracting into your life at that moment. Every emotion occurs at a different vibrational frequency and it is possible to create a list of emotions based on their vibration, somewhat like notes on a scale.
The lower vibrations correspond to the emotions you typically refer to as bad or negative. They include depression, anger, and sadness, among others. As you move up the vibrational scale, the emotions and frequency becomes higher. You can move through discomfort, apathy, and contentment in the middle range to joy, excitement, and love at the higher end of the scale.
All of these emotions are important to your life. When you experience something that is uncomfortable, you are vibrating at a lower frequency, which is why you don’t feel as good.
Rather than shutting those emotions down or trying to avoid those feelings, you must learn how to recognize them and to use them to move you in the direction you want to go. You can actively seek out a way to move yourself up the emotional scale by changing your focus or finding a good feeling activity.
Imagine your Internal Guidance System like an emotional piano. All of the frequencies are present in the instrument, but it is up to you to learn how to play the melody that is most pleasing to you. A talented composer knows using notes all along the scale creates the most beautiful music.
By listening to the lower vibrations, you can create your own symphony. Imagine how boring your life would be if you never had the opportunity to learn about things that are not pleasing to you. After all, it is partly by finding out what makes you unhappy to understand what allows you to feel joy. This is a part of our clarification process and one that is important for our children to learn.
© 2014. Sharon Ballantine. All Rights Reserved.