Like any good Christian and/or student of American Literature, I’ve always been both fascinated and slightly appalled at the great Puritan theologian Jonathan Edwards. On one hand, he was (and remains) profoundly influential on western theology, especially the more Calvinistic side of things. On the other hand, he was really really scary thanks to his emphasis on God’s wrath and eternal hellfire and the sort.

(There are people in the blogosphere who will roast me alive just for that last “on the other hand” comment. If you are one of those people, please walk away slowly.)

Now, let’s play a new game I just thought of last night while swimming. In it, I will give you a phrase. Your job is to decided whether the phrase is taken from Edwards’ famous 1741 sermon “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God” or from random death metal lyrics. The death metal lyrics are all taken from “So It Begins,” a 2007 album from the Canadian band Profugus Mortis (above right, now known as Blackguard).

No Googling allowed, at least not until you post your comments.

To make it fair, I will be formatting the Edwards quotes like song lyrics. Leave you answers in the comments.

Jonathan Edwards or Death Metal?

1.
I can hear the whispers
of the demons poisoning his mind

“More blood,” they say

“More lives”

2.
their damnation don’t slumber
the pit is prepared
the fire is made ready

the furnace is now hot

3.
endure hardships as discipline
to strengthen your heart

stand tall and head strong

4.
the illusion of strength
is quickly dispelled

as it’s all destroyed

with whisper and breath

5.
the arrows of death
fly unseen at noonday
the sharpest sight

cannot discern them

6.
there is nothing
between you and hell

but the air

7.
haste and escape
for your lives

look not behind you…
lest you be consumed

8.
the heart is now a sink of sin
so if sin was not restrained

it would immediately
turn
the soul into a fiery oven

9.
your body is filled with fire
your heart is filled with ice

you never cared for others
so you will die alone

10.
vile human, the world it weeps
on your existence

at just the sight of you

————-

Note: This is really hard. I lost my references in the process of formatting these and ended up confusing several of them. Had to do some Googling to figure it out. Which proves that “Edwards or Death Metal?” is brilliant, and I DO say so myself.

Tomorrow morning, I’ll comment with the answers.

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