You might have noticed that my books tend to have longish, quirky titles and subtitles. So far in my writing career, I’ve had the luxury of being able to mostly have my way when it comes to book titles, and that’s resulted in books like A Guy’s Guide to Life: How to Become a Man in 208 Pages or Less (my favorite title so far.)

So, naturally, I’m a big supporter of The Bookseller Magazine’s annual Diagram Prize for the Oddest Book Title of the Year (The Bookseller is the UK’s industry mag). Nominations are in and the list has been narrowed to six finalists – and the public gets to vote on the winner.

Here’s the shortlist of nominated titles:

I Was Tortured by the Pygmy Love Queen, by Jasper McCutcheon

How to Write a How to Write Book, by Brian Paddock

Are Women Human? And Other International Dialogues, by Catharine A. MacKinnon

Cheese Problems Solved, by P.L.H. McSweeney

If You Want Closure in Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs, by Big Boom

People who Mattered in Southend and Beyond: From King Canute to Doctor Feelgood, by Dee Gordon

While there’s perhaps no more evocative phrase than “pygmy love queen” – and Jasper McCutcheon is pretty much the coolest name ever — my vote is for Cheese Problems Solved. Because, first of all, I have never ever considered the existence of “cheese problems” of any sort, much less thought that an entire book was necessary to solve these problems. Also, when removed from the context of mealtime or photography, cheese is almost always a funny word. Good luck, P.L.H. McSweeney.

Exercise your freedom. Make your voice heard. Vote today.

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