We tend to carry around the hurt in our lives. We have lists of grievances against all those who hurt us, from the minor slights to the heart-breaking betrayals. If we fed into our worst selves, we could be engulfed in a tsunami of pain and misery just remembering all the hurt done to us over the years.
But here’s the crazy thing, something many of us don’t think about. In all those bad decisions you ever made, the consequences of which still haunt you to this day, who was the one person involved in all of those decisions? When those close friends betrayed you, who was the person that chose them as friends? In all the hurt and broken relationships around you, who was the person that self-destructed, that couldn’t quit, that made the choices that hurt those you love so deeply? It’s you. You’re the common denominator.
You’ve been the deciding factor in every bad decision you’ve ever made. You’ve chosen the friends that ended up hurting you. You’re the one that was too stubborn and prideful to ask for help before it was too late. Your greatest regrets stem from you, that’s why you’re the one person who will cause you more pain than anyone else.
Maybe that’s why the Apostle Paul describes the human condition this way:
As it is written:
“There is no one righteous, not even one;
there is no one who seeks God.
All have turned away,
they have together become worthless;
there is no one who does good,
not even one.” Romans 3:10-12
We have a horrifying ability as humans to sabotage our own lives, which is why we desperately need Jesus to save us and his Spirit to change us from the inside out. Instead of blaming everyone else, maybe it’s time to start asking God to change the person in the mirror, the one person who’s caused us more pain than anyone else.
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