The Duggar family, once the darling of reality show fans after the premiere of their show, “19 Kids and Counting” has had a meteoric fall from grace. Abuse allegations against the eldest Duggar son, Josh Duggar, who allegedly sexually abused some of his sisters and other girls, broke the family’s picture-perfect façade. A breach of Ashley Madison’s data, a site that allows married men to look for mistresses, soon revealed that Josh was one of the site’s clients. Then, in 2021, Duggar was arrested and charged with possessing child pornography. He was found guilty on all charges and sentenced to 12 years in prison in 2022.

Since then, the bad press has continued for the Duggar family, with Amazon Prime’s new documentary series, “Shiny, Happy People” taking a hard look at the Duggar family, particularly its faith practices. Now, a tell-all book entitled Holy Disruptor from Amy Duggar King, Josh’s cousin who appeared on the show as “Crazy Cousin Amy,” is detailing what was going on behind the scenes as the family grappled with Josh’s abuse. She has not had much contact with the family since 2019. “I haven’t talked to [Josh], and I won’t reach out, and I will not contact him, but my heart goes out to the victims, and it goes out to just anyone who’s ever experienced anything like that,” she said.

Speaking to Today, she discussed her first reaction of learning about Josh’s abuse. Her first thought was how she had allowed Josh to hold her newborn son, Daxton. “I have never felt more betrayed than in that moment, when this beautiful, precious newborn is in the hands of a monster. I just vowed to myself that will never happen again. I will protect him at all costs,” she said.

She called the abuse “preventable” and described Josh in his early years as “the most loving, caring person.” She described her book as “connecting the dots” of what happened to Josh. “I just told myself that God wouldn’t have allowed me to go through all of this if it’s not for a reason. I’m prepared for the backlash,” she said. She lays the blame for Josh’s change from a caring, normal young man to a sexual deviant on a number of factors, including his parents’ failure to get him proper counseling, an abusive grandpa, and the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP), the nondenominational fundamentalist Christian organization that shaped the family’s faith life.

Speaking to People, King claimed she confronted Josh about abusing his sisters and asked why he hadn’t abused her. Josh responded that he “knew better.” “It was the creepiest smile. In that moment, I just looked at him, and I was just like, ‘I don’t know you at all,'” she said. While acknowledging there might be pushback, King said it was important to bring the truth to light. “Writing [this book] was the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do,” she said. “I pushed myself to my limits. I cried all the time writing it, but I just wanted to be brave and tell the truth.”