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My Happy Place

The Queen of Theatre says, "I see you!"

My children started attending our library’s Summer Reading Program years ago and I loved to see each performance through their  eyes. What I realized quickly was the performances that were polished and suave did not impress them at all. They loved the performers who interacted with them and included them…especially the ones who brought them on the stage.

When it was my turn to put together a program, I used this important lesson to create a fully interactive show giving the children a chance to shine on stage.

And then I promptly forgot. 🙂

I fell in to that trap of insecurity mixed with pride.  Out of fear of failure, I filled up my 45 minute time frame with ME.  And…go figure…I then failed. Don’t worry. I figured it out quickly and only fumbled through one or two performances before I realized yet again that it’s all about the kids.

Then I fell in to a new trap. I fell in to the trap of anxiety. Even though during the shows I would focus on the children, before the shows I would focus on me…my nerves…my anxiety…my ailments. I was in the middle of one of these downward spirals just last week when I wrote a blog titled “Log-in with Gratefulness”. I was getting ready to start the 2011 season and I was so nervous. But as I typed to you “I’m thankful for each child in each audience and for the opportunity to “see” them all” something lifted in my heart. My nerves and fear dissipated as I truly felt the thankfulness. I am so fortunate to have a reason to meet roomful after roomful of tiny souls.

Some of those children only want or need a few minutes diversion…but some desperately need someone to SEE them. And that I can do. I can look for the eyes begging to be noticed. I can feel in my heart who needs that extra bit of attention. I can establish eye contact and give a high-five. These are such simple responses to need, but I can’t know how huge the dividend may be. And all I have to do is give up the focus on ME and turn the focus on THEM.

Which…when I think about it….is what makes all parts of my life shine or not shine. Today I again determine to let my insecurities, fears, anxieties, and pride step back and instead allow love, compassion, empathy and connection to step forward. That is always a better path.

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