We are intended to be in relationship with the ongoing movement of life. But when you look at life as though nothing will change, it won’t. The more you push away what you don’t want, the more you keep it in place. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xn8iQ8D8H_o&t=14s
If putting yourself first had any real power to grant you true liberty – a way to make you content, then – for all you’ve given to yourself – shouldn’t you be happy and free by now?
Asking God to help you — without first doing the interior work of seeing and admitting the truth of yourself to yourself — is like sending someone else to church or temple for you to pray for your transfiguration.