A common thread among clients who come to me for self-empowerment counseling is “Why do people use me?” And they groan, “Why me?” And they whine, “I’ll never get what I want because of _____.” I tell them to fill in that blank with, “because I allow myself to be a victim.” People don’t make […]
This is post 241 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to manifest your desires.. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how.
Independence Day is this week in the US. I was thinking about how having independence, or not having it, speaks to the Law of Attraction. When I was a DoorMat I was very dependent on people for my happiness. Yet I didn’t really feel happy. Being dependent takes the power for your life out of your hands and tells the Law of Attraction that you don’t value yourself and your ability to take care of you and find happiness within.
Dependence screams that you have a lack of trust and don’t believe you’ll get what you want on your own. Trust is important for manifesting. Dependence creates fear since you may worry that the persons you depend on will disappear. That greatly increases your chances of becoming a people pleaser in order to keep those you depend on around. That tells the Universe that you consider other people more important than you.
On the other hand, developing independence expresses trust that you can take care of yourself. As your faith gets strong, you can take charge of your life. When I left DoorMatville. I learned to enjoy doing activities on my own. Basically, I began to own my life. I gave myself permission to set boundaries on what I did for others and began to do things for myself that I used to depend on others for. I learned how to fix things around my apartment and began to attract healthy guys because I had a life.
I call it Healthy Independence. Some people think it means “I don’t need anyone.” We all need support from others and it’s nice to receive it. But it’s nice to know you can take care of yourself if support isn’t handy. You shouldn’t scoff help or love from others. Just do what you have to for yourself and enjoy what you get from those who care about you.
In my book, All Men Are Jerks Until Proven Otherwise, which was just release in its 15th Anniversary edition, I have a motto for women—“If you want a man, get a life.” That means learning to enjoy things on your own, develop interests you enjoy, and the ability to be responsible for your own happiness. Building self-love helps you to do that. So tell the Universe you trust that you can take care of yourself because you know that you’ll get spiritual support in doing so. When you have a sense of happy independence the Law of Attraction will work with you to get your needs met.
See all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series HERE.
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