Beliefnet
Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Today is Day 3 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jump-starting your own self-love and joining The Self-Love Movement™.

I thought it would be helpful to ask some experts how they show themselves love, to give you more ideas that you can use for yourself. I’m delighted to have some wonderful suggestions to share with you. By pampering your mind, body and spirit, you can build strong self-love, which is a magnet for loving things and people into your world. Here’s what they had to say:

I am very gentle with myself. I talk to myself and visualize the goal that I have in mind – weight loss, developed business, being mindful of what I say, developing more organization, etc. I simply see the goal, visualize it, and make a concerted effort to always think in a positive and hopeful manner. I read the Bible, Read positive quotes and associate myself with 1 or 2 persons who support me and accept me. But the #1 thing that I think has helped me in my journey is to give myself a big ole break as I progress through. YEAH! Debra Ann Matthews, Let Me Write It For You, Certified Job & Career Development Coach

Many years ago I realized I needed to love myself more. So I started looking for little things I could to express the love in a way that would feel right for me. I started buying fresh flowers and placing a few of them in a pretty little vase next to my bed. I remember for me, this was the beginning of a promise to be good to myself from now on. Rachel Madorsky, LCSW, psychotherapy, counseling and coaching for individuals, couples and families

Each morning I give myself a foot massage with hemp lotion and put soft cotton socks on. On cold mornings I feel toasty and my winter-dry feet thank me. I say a respectful “NO” at least once a week to something I really don’t want to do or don’t have time to do. It’s liberating and a great way to honor yourself and your boundaries. Laura Scott, Executive, Transition, and Life Coach

The beginning of my day begins with spreading spiritual love to others via text message with a scripture. 1 John 4:8 How is this important? Often times, I received an unbelievable amount of loving feedback that gets my day off to a good start.  Then touching other lives through ministry that includes various programs such as, Celebrate Recovery and a single’s ministry allows me to share my love. Showing others how I love myself is my testimony, which I use as a teachable experience. It’s about relationship and sowing seeds for me. Roland Hinds, Interpersonal Relationship Expert and Author

In my opinion, to love oneself you have to love your body!  Ever since I’ve been taking and teaching Nia classes, I have learned to love my body – with a sense of acceptance and appreciation I knew nothing about before.  It’s only through the practice of awareness of your sensations that you can learn to care for yourself with wisdom and then you learn to love being your authentic self! Marilyn Mitchell, Certified Black Belt Nia Instructor

I came to self-love via a different route:  food and food addiction.  After years of struggling with 100 excess pounds, I show myself love today by connecting to my body and unelashing my divine feminine energy.  It’s a highly sexual and vibrant energy.  It’s more delicious than any food and sinking into it reminds me how alive I am, and what I’ve fought for and attained in my life:  full access to myself. Pat Barone, MCC, America’s Weight Loss Catalyst

Passions and dreams are inspired by your heart and soul and fulfilling them is your purpose on Earth. So, to honor and pursue them are the greatest gifts of love you can give yourself. To give myself the BEST blessings of love I can, I first identify and remove all the blockages that may impede my dream and passion inspirations from becoming conscious. Then, I quiet my thinking mind in meditation to hear my passions within, and finally, I give integrity to the dreams and passions I hear and feel by declaring them aloud and committing to them. Passions without commitment are left just dreams! Vincent Genna, MSW, LLC, author, spiritual teacher, speaker, intuitive messenger

My FAVE self-care is …My trips to Starbucks to enjoy the atmosphere (my locale knows my car & actually has my drink waiting for me when I get to the cash wrap! I used to feel “guilty” as to the money I was spending on coffee…or I COULD make it home…& am I REALLY this lazy…ahhhhhhhhhhh…..But then I realized that being taken care of, even if it was just a ‘cup of coffee’…it’s a cup of coffee I enjoy, is made FOR ME & it is waiting for me & served to me w/a smile. How awesome is that? DeAnna Radaj, Author of the books Designing the Life of Your Dreams From the Outside In and Feng Shui for Teens.

I find that in any moment that I don’t judge myself, I naturally love myself. Therefore, in any moment that I were to experience a sense of shame or lack, I look to see what thoughts are preventing me from loving myself. Once I see what judgments are creating my emotion, I just gently ask myself questions like “Could the opposite be true? Could someone else think something differently? Do I know that there won’t be great effects of this seemingly bad circumstance?” These questions help me to discover that I don’t know whether my judgment is true, which leaves me in love and with love for myself. Noah Elkrief, author of A Guide to The Present Moment

I love to buy myself frequent bouquets of my favorite flowers. I make sure to include a kind note addressed to myself as “Beloved Barnsley,” and to  sign it “Your Higher Self.” One time when my honey wasn’t being so  sweet, I signed it “Your admirer” to make him believe he had some healthy competition! Worked like a charm! Self love is about valuing yourself enough to be your own beloved. Dr. Barnsley Brown, president, Spirited Solutions: professional speaking, training, & coaching

Try some of these tips to say “I love Me!” The better you feel from showing yourself love, the stronger your self-love will become!
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Join the Self-Love Movement™! Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Commitment and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts 2012 HERE.

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