A common thread among clients who come to me for self-empowerment counseling is “Why do people use me?” And they groan, “Why me?” And they whine, “I’ll never get what I want because of _____.” I tell them to fill in that blank with, “because I allow myself to be a victim.” People don’t make […]
What are your goals? Are they big or just a little? I see many people with great potential who don’t live up to it because they get in their own way by not recognizing and accepting that they could have a lot more than their goals reflect. If your long term goal is just a tiny step up from where you are now, you’ll have a hard time getting to much higher levels, even if you’re perfectly capable of doing what it takes to get there. Often goals are set by using factors that aren’t related to what you really want. Think about yours and ask yourself:
* Are your goals what you think you deserve? That was my issue when I was a DoorMat. My opinion of me was so low that I wouldn’t even consider trying for things I could have had because I shot them down as not for me. When you believe you don’t deserve to have the goodies that are available if you try, you shut the door on them. That’s what makes many of us settle for what we get instead of going after what would make us happy. The more you do to love yourself, the higher your worthiness gets! We all deserve the best possible.
* Do you think you should just try for a little and not be greedy? Often we’re taught not to expect too much. “You should be grateful with what you have.” You should be grateful for what you have and also be grateful able to get more. Wanting the best for you isn’t greedy. It’s loving!
* Do you doubt your ability to achieve more? If so, you might hold yourself back from at least trying to go after more. Ask yourself what you believe you lack to go after higher dreams. If you can’t think of anything, let that motivate you to try. If you identify not having enough skill or knowledge, read a book, take a class or get someone to bring you up to speed.
* Does setting high goals seem too scary? When you focus on the end result too much, you forget to baby step to get there. A mountain can seem too high to climb but if you just look in front of you and keep going, each step takes you closer to the top. And if you only go halfway, it’s still a great view and better than not going at all. You may never reach the ultimate of your dream goal but will still enjoy where you end up, instead of just staying stuck. Move higher one small step at a time and you’ll be surprised at how far you can get.
* Were you told you have limitations and believe it? People say mean things. It doesn’t matter who told you you’d never succeed at anything or that you’re not smart or you’re too____to be_____. It doesn’t matter unless YOU believe it! Your truth is what you choose to believe. If you don’t listen to others and listen to your heart, it can take you so high that you’ll have the doubters apologizing.
Bob Proctor said, “Most people are not going after what they want. Even some of the most serious goal seekers and goal setters, they’re going after what they think they can get. Set your sights higher.”
People don’t usually rise above the level of their goals. While I’ve succeeded so far in my career, my ultimate goals are over the top high. I appreciate where I am now but know I can go higher. I may not sell a gazillion books but each one I write sells more than the last, which is very satisfying. Had I only set the goal of getting a small publishing deal to sell a few books, I wouldn’t be where I am now.
Don’t sell yourself short. There are enough roadblocks and people that can make life harder. You need to be your best advocate by reaching as high as you can. You may not get the top apple on the tree but you’ll have lots of delicious apples of success when you go for it.
Take the 31 Days of Self-Love Challenge–to do something loving for yourself for the first 31 days of the year–and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. And you can post your loving acts HERE to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE.
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