Beliefnet
Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for Thumbnail image for * LOA logo2.jpgThis is post 129 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how.

There’s always a choice about how you handle life’s potholes and road bumps. Stuff happens to everyone. NO ONE is so blessed that they don’t have things go badly. Loved ones die. Jobs get eliminated. Bad weather happens when you have an outdoor event planned. Stuff breaks. What do you do? It can be easy to begin to feel self-pity.

•    “Oh, why me? I must have done something wrong to have such bad luck.”
•    “Woe is me!”
•    “Bad things always happen to me.
•    “Why can’t things ever work out?”

I had a client who kept saying, “Everything that could go wrong always happens to me.” During that period her rent increased so much that she had to move, her company moved to another state and she lost her job. As she repeated her negative mantra, wallowing in self-pity, one by one her kitchen appliances broke, she had a bad fall and her boyfriend moved far away. She saw each negative things that happened as proof that she was jinxed and expected bad things to continue.

I saw her as attracting negative situations by expecting them as she wallowed in self-pity. Each time I saw her she was feeling more and more sorry for herself, telling me about the “rewards” she’d received from her thoughts. I practically had to shake her physically to get her to wake up and stop the self-pitying thoughts. “You don’t understand Daylle. It’s bad for me. Everything is going wrong and I may never be happy again.” That’s what the Law of Attraction responded to.

You can accept things that go wrong and move on, or you can wallow in self-pity what didn’t work out for you.

The accepting choice allows you to move forward in faith, knowing that your life will be okay, because it will if you let it. Self-pity keeps you in a pattern of attracting more things to feel sorry about. My client finally woke up and made an effort to change her thoughts. When she did, she found a cheaper apartment and got a good job. She continues to rebuild her life as she sees that being positive attracts the good stuff. But I know how hard it can be to stay positive when if feels like life keeps handing you blows.

Do you ever think you live a Murphy’s Law kind of life? I personally know how that feels and how it can skew your perspective to self-pity.

When I first moved into the city, I had a really good month. I was happier than I’d ever been with my life and loved my apartment. One day I told a friend how much I felt grateful for my new life. When I came home, my roommate, who had the lease on the apartment, dropped a bomb. He was moving in a month. I could move or take over the lease and get another roommate. I’d come from a situation with roommates where I was in charge and just wanted to have no responsibility for a while. “How can you do this to me?” I asked, not knowing who I was asking.

I was distraught and went into a round of “What did I do to make things go wrong for me, just when I’m happy?”

Woe wasn’t strong enough to describe me then. Self-pity covered me like an ugly blanket. I cried a lot. Then I talked to someone who did to me what I did for the client I discussed earlier. I was taking it personally. That’s what we do when we let self-pity rule. I accepted that the world hadn’t turned on me and I wasn’t swallowed by Murphy’s Law. It was up to me to change my course. I signed a new lease on a fabulous rent stabilized apartment and got a roommate who was hardly home. Had my first roommate not moved I wouldn’t have this apartment that I love to be in. I’m still in it but without a roommate. What evoked self-pity was one of the biggest blessings I could ask for.

Self-pity does nothing positive for you. NOTHING! Except of course to reinforce your expectations of more shoes to drop on you.

When I stopped throwing pity parties, I learned that things happen for a reason, and stuff I don’t like is okay if I allow myself to feel bad for a moment and then look forward. Not succumbing to self-pity allows you to expect the good to come, and attract more than ever. Building faith and self-love can help you keep self-pity at bay.

See all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series HERE.

Take the self-love challenge and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. And you can post your loving acts HERE to reinforce your intention to love yourself. Read my 31 Days of Self-Love Posts HERE.

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