A common thread among clients who come to me for self-empowerment counseling is “Why do people use me?” And they groan, “Why me?” And they whine, “I’ll never get what I want because of _____.” I tell them to fill in that blank with, “because I allow myself to be a victim.” People don’t make […]
Today is Day 24 of my 31 Days of Self-Love posts to celebrate Self-Love Month with suggestions for jumpstarting your own self-love.
This is post 123 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how.
Most of us have felt jealousy at least once. It’s a normal response to seeing something you want that you don’t have and someone else does. Jealousy can be blatant, like envying someone who has what you want badly or more subtle, like having a little niggling feeling when you want to be happy for a friend who lost weight while you wish you could be thinner or when someone gets a fantastic job while you hate yours. It can be hard to watch others who are thrilled with having things you want too!
I’ve experienced LOTS of jealousy, especially during my DoorMat years. Oh how I wanted to be happy and have what it seemed like everyone else got. I envied every aspect of life that I wanted too, including having:
• A wonderful romantic partner
• A great body
• A job I’d enjoy
• Lots of money
The last one really got me. I’d see people smiling and wish I had reasons to smile too. Focusing on everyone else made it hard to feel my own joy, and reinforced unhappiness. But, even as I got stronger and felt free and happy, I’d still get jealous, just less often and for different reasons. When I’d see another author get opportunities I didn’t have yet, I’d start turning green. “Why didn’t they ask me to speak?” Why am I not on The View yet?” This happened even very recently, until I figured out how the Law of Attraction responds to jealousy.
Jealousy reflects lack and unfulfilled desires. It says you’re not getting what you need. So what do you attract? More lack!
Any time you focus on what you don’t have, which jealousy does, the Universe hears lack. That blocks manifesting and creates a variety of negative emotions. You might out and out resent someone for having what you believe should have been yours, like the romantic partner you had a thing for, or the job you feel more qualified to do, or losing weight you want to lose or making more money than you, etc., etc,. etc.
These often create anger at the person for sort of taking what should have been yours, or, anger at yourself for not doing more to get what the other person has.
One thing is for sure: Jealousy is a negative emotion that sends a message to the Law of Attraction that you don’t consider yourself good enough as you are. It tells the Universe that you don’t appreciate your own wonderful qualities and blessings and makes you forget you have good stuff that the other person doesn’t have. Negative emotions do not attract positive outcomes, especially when they lead your thoughts into feeling like a failure, or that you don’t try hard enough, etc.
Jealousy is not loving, since it reflects dissatisfaction about what you don’t have, instead of joy for what you do have.
It can skew your vision tin the opposite direction of showing gratitude. It’s hard to feel gratitude, which helps you manifest, if you feel bad about not having what someone else does. That says what you do have isn’t good enough to make you happy. The more you focus on what you don’t have with negative emotions, the more it comes back to bite you with more dissatisfaction. Jealousy also says that you don’t think there are enough blessings for you, which isn’t true. I’ve accepted that I can have most of the things I envy and the person who already has it doesn’t take anything from me.
William Shakespeare said, “And oft, my jealousy shapes faults that are not.”
When you focus on what you don’t have, you attract it. You might be slowly working your way toward our goals, get jealous of someone further along, focus on it, and stop your own progress by attracting obstacles with jealous thoughts. When you’re happy for other people’s blessings, the vibration you put out is positive, making it easier to manifest goodies. I admit that can be hard if you’re I the habit of going to a place of “I wish I had that.” That was me. It was so automatic to go there, even until December, when I began listening to the Getting into the Vortex Mediation CD.
It taught me to bless someone I feel jealous of. This takes practice! I’ll start to go to a place of “I wish I had that” and then stop myself and say, “Bless them for having that.” Awareness helped me recognize and accept that I can get what I want and that begrudging others for getting it first does me no good. Every time I catch myself I smile and feel in a better mood, knowing I’ll manifest my own blessings. Jealousy gets replaced by joy for the person’s blessings. I feel more positive about manifesting my own.
No one can stop your manifesting flow but YOU! What others have doesn’t effect you, unless you let jealousy create negative emotions.
Be happy for others! When someone wins the lottery, don’t wish it was you. Wish them well with the money and then focus on manifesting your own win in whatever it is you want. The better you feel about what you want, the stronger the vibration you put out. When you can replace jealousy with blessings for the person who has what you want, your chances of attracting it increase as your mood and outlook get more positive. The more you’re happy for what others attract, the more you can attract too!
See all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series here.
Take the self-love challenge and get my book, How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways for free at http://howdoiloveme.com. And you can post your loving acts HERE to reinforce your intention to love yourself.
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