A common thread among clients who come to me for self-empowerment counseling is “Why do people use me?” And they groan, “Why me?” And they whine, “I’ll never get what I want because of _____.” I tell them to fill in that blank with, “because I allow myself to be a victim.” People don’t make […]
This is post 110 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how.
Many years ago I went out with a guy who was mean to me. He put me down for some of my quirks and things I enjoyed, since he didn’t understand why I liked them. Yes, I was still a DoorMat then which is why I stayed with him a while. When I finally ended it, I was paranoid with every guy I went out with. If B didn’t like things I did as part of my personality, maybe the next guy wouldn’t either. So I was afraid to be myself. Memories of how hurt I felt when that one guy put me down stifled my personality. Back then I didn’t understand that holding onto bad memories is holding onto the past, which is over.
The Law of Attraction will keep bringing you what you’re afraid to have more of, because it’s prominent in your consciousness.
Avoiding past pain keeps that pain alive and can attract similar situations of pain. Have you made a mistake at work that you can’t forget and assume no one else will? That cuts down your confidence, which makes it more likely to happen again. Remember, if you expect people not to trust you because you were late on a project or made a mistake, you’ll attract more reasons for the lack of trust. People forget your mistakes fast. Usually it’s you who keeps them alive and attracting negatives.
Living in the present keeps you focused on what’s going on right now and helps you go forward in a positive way since past issues aren’t prominent in your thoughts.
DoorMats live in the past and are riddled with fear of repeating mistakes. They also do what they can to avoid repeating things that brought them pain before. That’s a big impetus for pleasing people. It can start in childhood. A parent or neighbor or friend gets angry with you or you get ridiculed for being overweight or dumb or not good enough and you begin to compensate for it by being agreeable to everyone.
One painful incident can make you never want to risk being hurt again, so it seems almost defensive to be a people pleaser.
Those habits carry into adulthood. It’s important to remember that the past–experiences, hurts, fears, etc.–is over. Only YOU can keep it alive or choose to live in the present moment. I clung to the past for many years. It motivated my choices and kept me from setting boundaries. It also kept me from loving myself, since I was too focused in what in the past I believed was wrong with me to see what was right. Now all I see is the beautiful, intelligent, caring woman that I am, and that attracts wonderful things!
Since the past is history, do what you can to let go of it and focus on what’s going on in your life now, not what already happened.
One mistake doesn’t mean you’ll make more. Letting someone down doesn’t mean they lose trust in you. NOW do things well. NOW try to do what you say. Live with integrity, be more self-loving, and focus on what you want, not what you’re afraid will repeat from the past. That leads to attracting a better future.
See all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series here.
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