A common thread among clients who come to me for self-empowerment counseling is “Why do people use me?” And they groan, “Why me?” And they whine, “I’ll never get what I want because of _____.” I tell them to fill in that blank with, “because I allow myself to be a victim.” People don’t make […]
Wow! This is post 100 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. People didn’t think this series would last too long since I’d run out of topics–but I’m far from that! The Law of Attraction encompasses every aspect of our lives, so I will continue to find them and bring them to you. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series to see how.
A client came to me and said she was disheartened by her efforts to flirt with guys. She was making an effort and felt very rejected when a guy she flirted with didn’t respond. It brought her down, even though it was someone she barely knew. He could have had a girlfriend, been gay, or she just wasn’t his type. I explained that she shouldn’t take it personally because of that. No one person or situation should be so important that you feel rejected if you don’t get the results you want from trying.
The more you live a passion driven lifestyle, the more your pursuits and behavior becomes an ongoing activity or your normal behavior, making it easier to keep going if others don’t respond favorably.
For example, I asked my client if she considered herself a flirt. Not really she said. That meant she was pulling up her flirting muscles specifically to attract a guy. Putting an effort into one endeavor and giving it too much importance is a lose/lose for you. It attracts feelings of rejection that are unfair to you and lowers your confidence for trying again. This is such an unnecessary response.
If you go after what you want as a lifestyle, instead of a targeted goal, you’ll have more fun and less feelings of rejection.
I encouraged my client to become a flirt, not to selectively flirt with a guy she was interested in. I flirt with everyone! It’s become part of my personality. While I especially like flirting with cute guys, I enjoy it all and do it automatically, not just to attract someone special. So if I don’t get a response from someone, oh well. I will continue flirting with everyone, without expecting a response. Some respond, some don’t, no biggie either way. My client practiced becoming more flirty and no longer feels rejected if her flirting doesn’t attract a particular guy since many people do respond. She’s having a lot more fun too!
It’s your choice to feel rejected if you don’t get the promotion or the media response from a press release you send or get turned down when you invite someone to dinner.
I used to take every turn down or person who ignored me as personal rejection. It hurt and made me gun-shy about trying something again. Leaving DoorMatville, I vowed to only follow my passions. When I did that, every opportunity I pursued was part of my lifestyle of passion. When I got turned down for a book deal or by a TV show, it motivated me to follow my passion more strongly. I love what I’m doing and when doors don’t open, I continue to do what I love until one does.
It’s no longer about one person or opportunity. It’s more about having a passion-driven lifestyle.
I work with a lot of musicians who experience a lot of rejection on their path to success. An audience might not be receptive, it can be hard to get a show booked, record labels turn them down, media ignores them, etc., etc. etc. I always remind them that if they love doing music, they must kept singing and playing wherever and whenever they can, and not lose sight of the passion of doing it. That in itself is success!
Passion driven people keep going despite being turned down, and ultimately arrive, while those who feel rejected look on with envy.
Most people get turned down many times before they get the door open for where they want to go. But if you succumb to rejection, you may not stick around long enough for that to happen. Feeling rejection attracts defeat because that’s where your mind goes and the Universe supports it.
I don’t use the word rejection in relation to myself.
I use turned down, passed on or see the people as fools who didn’t recognize how wonderful I am. Feeling rejected attracts a mentality of unworthiness, not good enough or doomed to failure. People who turn me down couldn’t stop me from writing no matter what they say. The first thirty publishers who passed on my first books didn’t deter me from knowing I was a writer and would get published if I continued writing and getting it out. And I did!
You can control rejection or let it control you.
Decide if you want to attract future joy or defeat. If it’s joy, make light of people who aren’t interested and keep your focus on doing what matters to you. Leave rejection to those who choose to give up. Every rejection is simply the wrong person or opportunity for you, as long as you CHOOSE to see it that way. Choose to attract joy over defeat and move past what wasn’t meant to be with passion so you can get to what you’re meant to have.
See all the posts in my Law of Attraction in Action Series here.
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