Beliefnet
Lessons from a Recovering Doormat

This is post 73 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.

Sunday is the “big” day for love—Valentine’s Day. I talked about it in my post last year on V. Day but it needs to be discussed each year. This one day can generate great joy or great sorrow, depending on whether you’re in a good relationship. The hype can make almost any single person lament not having a special someone. It used to do that to me. It was weird but even when I was seeing someone, something would happen just before February 14th and either end the relationship or the guy had to leave for a while. I used to think I was love jinxed. Now I think I just made that one day too important in the scheme of a relationship.

Making V. Day THE day for love and for all romance your partner can muster can also attract a lack of romance and feeling loved on a regular basis throughout the year.

Many women put pressure on their guys to make the day special. People go to overcrowded restaurants, often with jacked up prices on their menus, to celebrate their love. Many men feel forced to ante up on the romance. They often don’t feel the vibe of what they do or give but the pressure makes them do it. But V Day isn’t joyous for everyone. It often evokes:

* Pain for people with no one special.
* Disappointment if your guy doesn’t give you a ring or you don’t get what the hype promises.
* Frustration if you get something less romantic and more practical.
* Let down later if your life goes back to the way it was.

Unrealistic expectations of this ONE day tells the Universe you don’t see every day as a wonderfully loving one that brings you love and romance.

Years ago, I spent Valentine’s Day with a friend for several years in a row. We’d do a long walk downtown, moaning every time we’d see a guy or delivery person go by with flowers. No flowers for us! We mourned not having a special guy over drinks and dinner. Though we’d always go home depressed, we repeated this for several years. As I became more empowered, I realized that I was making having romance on V. Day much too important. I had a great life, good friends, and I had me, who I finally learned to love.

The next V. Day I bought myself a rose!

I went out and shopped for one perfect rose and bought it for the one I love most—ME! It made me so happy, not just to have a rose I loved, but because I knew how far I’d come. Now I buy myself flowers every week. Why not? I don’t buy them on Valentine’s Day since they’re usually more expensive. I’ll get mine earlier in the week. But I love flowers so why not have them all year round?

No one day—no matter what it’s called—should be designated in your thoughts as THE day for love. Every day is a love day for me now!

Focusing on love for this one day can tell the Universe that you expect the special love stuff on February 14th, which can make it harder to attract the romance on other days. I just heard someone say that his wife had banned V. Day in their house. She didn’t want to delegate this one day for love and preferred to show it every day. I agree! There’s nothing wrong with having fun with your mate on this day, but recognize the value of showing love and romantic gestures regularly. That helps the connection of a good relationship sustain better that putting all your hearts into one basket on one day.

Honor your love every day, whether if it’s for your partner or yourself. I consciously give myself love and the Law of Attraction responds with more joy in myself and

I don’t have a special guy this year. I haven’t had much time or met someone worth giving some up to go on a date. It’s MY choice, not my bad luck on V Day. I’m deliriously happy with my life, despite many women thinking I’m nuts to turn down opportunities to go on a date because I’d rather write or run or a million other things. When the time is right, I’ll enjoy a V. Day with a special guy. For now, Sunday will still be a special day because I’ve discovered the joy of loving myself. After many DoorMat years of being desperate to find a guy to complete me, I celebrate that I now complete myself.

Show YOU love this weekend, along with other loved ones.

Even if you’re in a good relationship, do something special for YOU! It will help you attract more love and happiness. And if you’re single, loving yourself gives you more of a chance to attract a healthy relationship. You’ve heard it before but it’s so true—you can’t find healthy love from others until you love yourself. That shows you’re worthy of being loved and the Law of Attraction will bring it back to you!

See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series..

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