A common thread among clients who come to me for self-empowerment counseling is “Why do people use me?” And they groan, “Why me?” And they whine, “I’ll never get what I want because of _____.” I tell them to fill in that blank with, “because I allow myself to be a victim.” People don’t make […]
This is post 74 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.
I have a family member I’ll call Val. I don’t like her. Growing up I consistently found her self-serving and sneaky. As a child, my mom told me to just turn the other cheek and be nice. I had resentment but kept my mouth shut, until she did something that I considered nasty to my parents years ago. Her words and actions hurt them immeasurably. That was it for me. I wanted nothing more to do with her and carried a grudge for years.
Grudges send a bad vibe to the Universe. Carrying one shows a lack of forgiveness.
Grudges stoke anger and anger is never good for you when it stays with you over time. Whenever I’d hear Val’s name mentioned I’d snarl. And, I’d talk about how awful she was to anyone who’d listen. Looking back, I was right to know she wasn’t good to have in my life. But, my anger was unnecessary. What happened was over, yet I kept it alive by carrying a grudge toward her.
Grudges attract negativity by keeping bad memories alive.
Holding onto the grudges holds onto the past. But this is the present! The feelings behind the grudges don’t allow you to live fully in the now and serve no purpose. Forgiving the person you feel a grudge against frees you from negative vibes. People often question when I advise forgiving someone who did something blatantly wrong. Forgiving is for YOU, not for them.
Forgiving someone who hurt you allows you to let the negatives go. This attracts more positive circumstances.
It’s not necessary to forgive a person directly. You never have to see or communicate with them. You can forgive in your heart. Say out loud that you don’t like what the person did but you forgive him or her. Or write down what the person did, read it aloud, then express forgiveness and burn the paper (in the sink so you don’t start a fire. : ) That tells the Universe you’ve let go of the grudge and are ready to move forward more peacefully.
Desmond Tutu said, “Forgiving is not forgetting; it’s actually remembering—remembering and not using your right to hit back. It’s a second chance for a new beginning. And the remembering part is particularly important. Especially if you don’t want to repeat what happened.”
Don’t forget this! Forgiving doesn’t mean things are good between you and the person or forgetting what happened. Forgiving doesn’t mean excusing the person. You don’t have to like what the person did, or like the person any more than you did before. It does mean sending a positive message to the Universe. Grudges instigate negative thoughts and stir thoughts of getting revenge, which brings negatives back to you. Forgiving allows you to release any desire to get even, which attracts peace and more positive circumstances.
Forgiving is letting go of the emotional attachment to what caused your grudge against someone.
Grudges make you Grrr… when you think of the person. Forgiving changes your emotions. As I said in my post on Emotions, emotions fuel what you attract. Grudges keep negative emotions alive. Forgiving releases them and allows you to stimulate more of the positive ones that attract what you want. Remember, negative emotions are more potent than positive ones. They stick more. Forgiving is a potent way to release them. A few years ago, I learned that Val would be at a funeral I was going to. My blood began boiling as I thought of her. I knew it was time to forgive. After releasing my anger and forgiving her in my heart, I could interact with her in a civilized manner. She suggested we get together. I said nothing.
She’s history now, along with my grudge and it feels better!
Think about any grudges you might still have. Are they worth the negative energy? Learn from what someone did to you and then try to forgive so you can move forward. The lessons will hopefully prevent repeating what happened. Grudges attract anger, resentment, and a need for hurting the person back. YOU DESERVE MUCH BETTER!
When your faith is strong, you can put it into God’s hands to take care of the person for you.
A few years ago, someone who works in my building decided to do very loud work in the apartment above me before 8AM on a Saturday morning. It scared me to wake up to loud noise above my head and I was angry. It was wrong to do that! Completely inconsiderate. He knew it would bother me but did it anyway. My first instinct was to tell him off but I knew he knew what he’d done and how much I’d hate it. Instead, I wrote him a short note.
Knowing he’s religious, I said I forgive him and was putting what he’d attract into God’s hands.
It was 2 weeks before Christmas. I admit to getting a kick out of handing him the note in an envelope as he said thanks, thinking it was his Christmas tip. I went to Macy’s with the tip! And, the next week I learned that he was very upset. The time he was supposed to get off for the holidays was revoked because he was needed. I looked up to the sky and smiled! My forgiveness and releasing my grudge against him attracted a messed up vacation. It was over! He attracted that and I didn’t need to hold the grudge.
Leave revenge to the Universe. It does take place! Positive thoughts and energy is so much better than the negatives from carrying a grudge. See if you have any still festering, forgive anyone involved, and move on, knowing what they did will or has come back to them! Then you can focus on attracting more positive situations!
See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series..