A common thread among clients who come to me for self-empowerment counseling is “Why do people use me?” And they groan, “Why me?” And they whine, “I’ll never get what I want because of _____.” I tell them to fill in that blank with, “because I allow myself to be a victim.” People don’t make […]
This is post 61 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.
Last week I discussed how your PERSPECTIVE sets the tone for your reality, and how striving to be perfect warps your perspective of circumstances. Many people strive for perfection. They tend to focus their attention on what’s not right instead of what is. As a DoorMat, the qualities I hated about myself blinded me to my good ones. You can get 99 questions right on a test and beat yourself up for the one you got wrong. I’ve seen people who lost 50 pounds dramatizing the last 5 that are hard to lose. That sends a message that you’ll never be happy until you achieve perfection.
Since perfection doesn’t exist, you’ll keep attracting unhappiness.
Years ago I had a boyfriend who was never satisfied. He went to the gym obsessively. I thought his body was amazing. He only saw the teensy spot that wasn’t perfect. When he got a new client, he clouded his joy by lamenting about one who was still on the fence. If he didn’t sign everyone he went after, he only saw the failure and was rarely happy. His need for perfection made me eventually break up with him. There was no way I’d join him in postponing happiness for the day perfection arrived!
Needing to be perfect puts out a message that you’re dissatisfied with what you have—the antithesis of expressing gratitude.
People who always strive for perfection tell the Universe that they don’t appreciate their blessings and they resent not getting everything they want on their terms. They’re often not happy. I find perfectionists to be a lot less faithful than others. It’s hard to have faith when you don’t feel like you’re getting what you need when you decide it’s needed. Since perfection is impossible, perfection seekers assume their needs aren’t being met by a higher power since they’re still lacking in something.
Yet we attract so much more when put positive energy on what’s going right—our blessings—instead of putting negative energy on what we haven’t attracted.
Not being perfect makes people angry—at the situation and at themselves for not being able to control everything. Anger feels lousy and negates self-love. That in itself attracts more negatives or at least blocks many of the positive things that could be attracted by being more self-forgiving. Anger at out not being perfect attracts more imperfect things you may be angry about. Instead of relaxing with your blessings, anger about what you don’t have negates getting more blessings.
Seeking the impossible—perfection—sets impossible goals to manifest.
Perfectionists fail to realize that even people that seem perfect from afar aren’t perfect. Yankee Derek Jeeter has his off games of getting no hits, yet he’s a star athlete. So is Tiger Woods but he sometimes has an off day too. People with great bodies have cellulite when they peel off their Spanx and you see them with their flab and cellulite. Makeup can do a lot for perfect looking celebs. So can airbrushing. Yet we often look to those we envy as examples of what we want, or want to be.
Our good qualities and accomplishments get lost in the shadow of flaws, goals yet to be achieved, and anything else that’s not perfect.
Seeking perfection sells your positive assets way short and sets you up to be unhappy. When you appreciate what you have and what you do, you attract more of that. Strive to improve, not to become perfect. Feeling disgruntled about imperfections reinforces them. Feeling good about what you do right makes it easier to attract more things to feel proud of.
Progress is more important than perfection!
If you want to lose weight, do your best to improve your eating habits and take a few extra steps to burn calories. You may never have a flat tummy but can have a fitter body. Mine still has some flab but I still love my body now since I’ve worked hard to be fit and healthy. If I was waiting to have a perfect body, I wouldn’t feel so much joy about my improvements. But I celebrate improvement, even if I still have cellulite and will never be perfectly firm and thin. Since I adopted this mindset, I notice the weight comes off easier. I seem to attract weight loss and not gaining as easily.
I’ll repeat: Progress is more important than perfection! Celebrate any progress you make to improving yourself. You’ll attract more progress that way. Trade the perfection myth for realistic progress and enjoy what you attract instead of lamenting what hasn’t come yet. It makes for a happier life!
See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series..