A common thread among clients who come to me for self-empowerment counseling is “Why do people use me?” And they groan, “Why me?” And they whine, “I’ll never get what I want because of _____.” I tell them to fill in that blank with, “because I allow myself to be a victim.” People don’t make […]
This is post 44 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.
When I was a DoorMat, I gave A LOT! I mean A LOT! If someone needed something and I could do it, I did. I loaned money that to this day hasn’t been returned, bought gifts, and shared anything I had. And what did I get back? Very little! People were scarce when I needed help. My birthday was forgotten. Nobody treat me to dinners or movies, though I treated regularly. Looking back, I gave to a big black hole of no return.
It seemed like the Law of Attraction gave me nothing for all my giving.
That’s when I had no faith. Many people who are people pleasers like I was lament about why they get so little when they give so much. It hurts to feel unappreciated. That reinforced my feeling that I was unworthy of receiving. Yet I continued to give and give without any reciprocation. I was scared people wouldn’t like me if I didn’t. But deep down I knew they didn’t like ME, they liked what I gave them. I didn’t like me either, so I accepted giving without receiving.
The Law of Attraction WAS working. When you continue to give without receiving, even though you hate it, you attract more of that.
My actions showed that I gave a lot but I accepted not receiving. I attracted more giving without receiving by continuing to give without receiving! You can say you want more all you want but if your head doesn’t believe you should get it, you won’t get more. People pleasers often give out of fear, like I did. Being alone was a scary thought. I treated people so I wouldn’t have to eat alone or sit in a movie theater by myself. But I’ve learned!
There’s great joy in doing things on your own, once you get over the fear. It’s a lot better than paying people to be with you.
I love my own company now. Restaurants are now a place to take my laptop and write uninterrupted or catch up on reading. I can go to a movie when I’m in the mood, not when someone else wants to go. I have a nice balance of doing things with REAL friends and enjoying time on my own. At first I stopped giving altogether. I was angry and felt it wasn’t worth it. But I still got nothing!
Now I’ve learned that when you give from your heart—to be kind to someone with no expectations or to buy someone’s friendship, the Law of Attraction returns it multiplied!
My original motivation for giving was to make people like me. Now that I like myself, I like to give when someone needs my help, but with boundaries that address my own needs. I give because I like helping people. Period! When I can do something for someone else that I know will help them, AND, it doesn’t hurt me or take away from my own needs, I’m happy to do it. I probably give more than I used to on many levels, but it makes me happy, not because it’s an antidote to loneliness.
Leonard Nimoy said, “The miracle is this – the more we share, the more we have.”
The Law of Attraction brings more blessings to you when you share yourself, your time, and other things with people, just to make them happy. Now that I’m a whole person, I no longer worry about who will like me. I like me, and that’s all that matters! Real friends like me too, whether I give or not. If I see a need and can help without putting my own needs aside completely, I help.
Self-sacrificing isn’t giving. It tells the Universe that you don’t matter, hence attracting a lack of others giving to you.
Giving with kind intentions attracts SO MUCH in return. If someone I’ve helped asks how they can reciprocate, I advise paying it forward to someone else who needs help. Whenever I need help, I attract the right people to help me. My life is a continuous blessing! I’m kind to others and get kindness and favors back at the right time! That’s the blessing of sending the right thoughts to the Law of Attraction. I now know I deserve a lot of kindness. So do you!
Examine you giving patterns. Do you do it to please people you want to like you? Or in hope of getting reciprocation? Love yourself enough to just do it to be kind. Keep your own needs in the equation when deciding what you can give. The more kindness you give to others or donate to charity, the more you’ll receive. It’s the law! ?
See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series..