A common thread among clients who come to me for self-empowerment counseling is “Why do people use me?” And they groan, “Why me?” And they whine, “I’ll never get what I want because of _____.” I tell them to fill in that blank with, “because I allow myself to be a victim.” People don’t make […]
This is post 40 in my series on the Law of Attraction in Action. You CAN use your power to attract all that you need. I do it every day! Read the posts in this series to see how.
I’m a nice person and don’t want to be mean to anyone. But as I’ve become more conscious of my thoughts, I realize that I have some about others that aren’t nice. Did you ever see someone on the street and judge them? Maybe you wonder how she could leave her house wearing that outfit or doesn’t he know that his toupee looks silly? I do. It’s so easy to have critical thoughts that are silent. I used to think it didn’t matter since the person couldn’t hear them.
But I hear them and so does the Universe. I realized it’s not nice, no matter if they’re silent! Plus, it sets the wrong intentions into motion with the Law of Attraction.
I walk a lot. Living in NYC allows me to go almost everywhere by foot. That means a lot of walking and passing a lot of people. I love to people watch and observe different behavior. As a writer, it fascinates me. But I also notice things that make me think thoughts that are critical of some of the people I pass. It used to be fun. I’d wonder why she’s with that goofy looking guy or why he’s wearing that awful jacket.
Don’t they have eyes to see how awful they look?
I think that insecurity makes up pick on others, even if it’s silent. Finding their faults subconsciously makes you feel a little less bad about your own. Every one of us has some insecurity. No matter how good your self-esteem, there’s something you’d love to change if you could or a bad habit you can’t break. I love myself and feel great about who I am but would love to lose more weight if the fat fairy would oblige. I’m happy with my body but would still love to be more svelte. We all have things we’d change if a magic wand could be waved to oblige us.
Accepting our imperfections, especially things we can’t change—such as being what you perceive as too short or the big one, not being able to get younger instead of older—doesn’t mean we wouldn’t prefer to have what we lack. And we can’t help feeling a little envy when seeing someone who has what we don’t. You just need to keep these normal feelings in persepective and control your response to them. I’d love to be younger or thinner or have hair that doesn’t frizz in humidity, etc. What would you love to change if you could?
Criticism of others, even if just a passing thought, often reflects our own insecurity. But that doesn’t make it right!
When I finally caught myself, I became more aware that I don’t like that kind of criticism directed at me. Even if I don’t hear it, it’s a yucky feeling. Yet I was doing it to others! I needed to stop. Consciousness became my guide. Once I noticed this bad habit, I was shocked to realize how often I have negative thoughts about people. I used to think it was harmless. But no negative is harmless!
The Law of Attraction returns our thoughts. I didn’t want to attract negativity by being negative and had to stop!
So I’ve created a sort of self-warning system of consciousness and am still a work in progress. Breaking old habits takes time. But that’s okay since it’s better than not breaking them at all. And the process has been good for me! My awareness is very heightened now. When I notice someone I’d normally rag on mentally, I can stop myself mid-rag now. Sometimes sooner. The important thing is making the effort to stop myself.
When I notice something and begin a critical thought, I interrupt it by telling myself that isn’t nice and I must stop. And I do. I often say “I’m sorry” too.
Each time I put the brakes on a negative feels good to me now. I used to get a kick out of making fun of someone in my head. Now I enjoy being able to stop myself. It’s a great feeling of control. Each time I stop a negative thought about someone, usually a stranger, I applaud myself for breaking my habit of being silently mean. Mean is mean. I don’t want to attract that into my world!
While the person I’m making fun of in my head doesn’t know I’m doing it, I know, and so does the Law of Attraction.
I feel more in control since I’ve been working on stopping my habit. But I intend to break it entirely with practice. All habits can be broken with time and consciousness! Pay attention to your thoughts. Do you judge people in a harsh light in your head? Do you really want to do that? It seemed like a funny thing to me until I began studying the LOA. Now I know that it’s not right, and can attract what I don’t want. Thinking kinder thoughts about others attracts much better stuff. When you do think kinder thoughts, you attract more kindness and compliments.
See all the Law of Attraction in Action Series..