A common thread among clients who come to me for self-empowerment counseling is “Why do people use me?” And they groan, “Why me?” And they whine, “I’ll never get what I want because of _____.” I tell them to fill in that blank with, “because I allow myself to be a victim.” People don’t make […]
We all have core beliefs from childhood or that have been ingrained in us by getting a repeat message on a regular basis throughout our lives. They could have come from family, friends, teachers, romantic partners, etc. Sandra Finkelstein has learned how to identify these beliefs so you can determine which are helpful and those you need to cut loose. She shares here:
by Sandra Finkelstein
Despite being on my journey of awareness for over 10 years and peeling away many of my layers, it is now that I am ready to look in the mirror of my life and begin to question which core beliefs are serving me well; which ones are driving me that I am not even aware of; which ones have I “taken on” and want to release – the ones that are not serving me.
I recently went back to notes that I took when I saw Gregg Braden speak in Toronto about this very topic. His book, The Spontaneous Healing of Belief had a tremendous impact on me. He put the idea of core beliefs into perspective for me when he asked this simple yet profound question:
“Do you believe there is a single force that is underlying and responsible for all that happens? OR Do you believe in 2 forces – good and bad, light and dark; a world of duality?”
Your answer becomes the template for the way you see life experiences and will dominate all outcomes. The good news is there is no right answer. However, it will shape your experiences and results.
For me personally, I have shifted during my path of awareness. At one time I did see the world as good and bad, etc. I held onto beliefs that I now realize have been passed down through my family, my religious affiliations, school, and the list can go on. I have come to understand that we are one, and through my energy, I can shift my world within and with those around me. The greater impact is when we collectively come together – this energy can transform the world at a larger level.
To identify my core beliefs I was advised to sit down and divide a paper in half. On one side I wrote all the core beliefs that I hold. On the other side I checked whether the actual core belief was serving me in what I want to achieve, and more importantly, who I am or want to be. I realized that some of the core beliefs I held were passed down from my parents and were not really mine. Since I did not resonate with these, I decided “to hand them back.” These core beliefs will no longer hold me back! Some beliefs I held were carried forward from past lives. Only when I did past life regression did it finally make sense. I was shocked.
For these deeply ingrained beliefs, I did free flow writing—sitting down and just writing what comes to mind.
I had a candle lit and when I was done I burned it to release it. This is a very powerful exercise. When you burn what you have written, be very careful. I put the paper in an aluminum bowl and placed it outside my kitchen door with nothing around it. The last thing you want is a fire!!
The other option is to do journal writing to release these beliefs.
This process is about releasing old core beliefs that you allowed to hold yourself back. It is also about creating new core beliefs that will allow you to be who you are or want to be. It is really the process of breaking cycles. For some this is not easy.
I recommend that you write an affirmation around your core belief that will allow you to already see yourself at the place you want to be.
For instance, as a twin I was always introduced as the “pretty one” and my brother as the “smart one.” I wrote an affirmation that says, “I am so grateful to be seen by all as a woman who has knowledge, experience and wisdom to share and that it impacts the lives of many.” The most important part of an affirmation is the FEELING that you attach to it. I visualize myself surrounded by the lives I touch. I feel joy and love. THERE IS A BIG SMILE.
For those core beliefs that are serving me well, I put a big checkmark beside them.
I am grateful for this process for it reinforces that we have the free will to choose what resonates with us and feels “right” and discard those core beliefs that do not. I can create anything I want! See what is working for you and let go of the rest!