In doing some research, I came across a study out of Duke University that was conducted with the purpose of trying to identify the qualities that best help us to acheive feelings of calm…comfort…peace of mind.
While reading the findings, caregiving situations and issues kept popping into my mind. I know from my own experiences, and through talking to other caregivers, it’s easy to fall victim to these kinds of mental/emotional traps.

The study found that the happiest, most “at peace” people:
1. Aren’t suspicious or resentful. Don’t hold grudges.
2. Live in the moment. Aren’t plagued with feelings of failure from past mistakes.
3. Don’t waste time trying to change things they don’t have the power to change.
4. Force themselves to stay social and connected during times of stress.
5. Don’t feed feelings of self-pity.
6. Don’t hold themselves to unrealistic standards.
7. Have strong faith in the idea that a force bigger than them is watching out for them., and stay connected through prayer.

The trick is realizing that these kind of feelings do in fact, trap us – hold us prisoner – blocking our chances of being able to appreciate the joyful moments in our days.
Try to keep these ideas in mind, and strive to recognize and control these feellings in yourself.
j.