Boston Red Sox outfielder Jarren Duran is using his platform to shine a light on mental health — and the powerful role he believes God played in saving his life.

In the new Netflix docuseries The Clubhouse: A Year With the Red Sox, Duran opens up about the darkest chapter of his life, revealing that during the 2021 and 2022 seasons, he struggled so deeply with depression that he attempted to take his own life.

“I was sitting in my room. I had my rifle, and I had a bullet, and I pulled the trigger,” Duran recalled. “The gun clicked, but nothing happened.”

Duran said he believed it was divine intervention that saved him that night.

“To this day, I think God just didn’t let me take my own life,” he said. “I seriously don’t know why it didn’t go off. I took it as a sign — ‘I might have to be here for a reason.'”

That harrowing moment marked a turning point for the young player, who realized he had been given another chance for a reason.

“I started to look myself in the mirror after the gun didn’t go off,” Duran said. “I was like, ‘Do I want to be here, or do I not want to be here? That happened for a reason, and obviously, you’re here for a reason, so let’s be the way you want to be and play the way you want to play and live the way you want to live.'”

Duran’s candid story comes amid a growing movement of athletes speaking up about mental health struggles, breaking the stigma that often surrounds professional sports. For Duran, the intense pressure to perform, combined with harsh criticism from fans, became overwhelming during his early years in the majors.

“I was already hearing it from fans,” Duran said, explaining how their harsh words mirrored — and sometimes amplified — his own self-criticism. “That was a really tough time for me. I didn’t even want to be here anymore.”

After a rocky start to his MLB career — batting just .215 in 2021 and .221 in 2022 — Duran made a stunning turnaround. In 2023, he slashed .295/.346/.482 and, in 2024, had a breakout season, leading the majors in doubles and triples and earning his first All-Star Game MVP award.

But Duran’s journey has not been without challenges. Last year, he faced a two-game suspension after using an anti-gay slur toward a fan, an incident for which he publicly apologized, pledging to learn and grow from his mistake.

Duran’s openness about his struggles has been praised by the Red Sox organization and beyond.

“Jarren’s decision to share his story is an act of courage that reaches far beyond baseball,” Red Sox president and CEO Sam Kennedy said. “By opening up, he’s showing others who may be struggling that they’re not alone and that asking for help isn’t just OK, it’s essential. Every member of this organization continues to stand with him.”

Today, Duran is not just a rising star in baseball; he’s a survivor, a voice of hope for anyone battling feelings of despair. His story is a powerful reminder that God often has a plan even when we can’t see it — and that sometimes, the very moments meant to destroy us can instead become the foundation for a new beginning.

“I’m here for a reason,” Duran said. “And now, every day, I try to live like it.”