Chelsea Handler isn’t holding back when it comes to her views on love, marriage, and independence. During a recent appearance on the “Angie Martinez IRL Podcast,” the 51-year-old comedian made it clear that traditional relationships—especially marriage—aren’t a priority in her life.
Handler told host Angie Martinez that she’s simply not wired to chase relationships. “I’m not out seeking men,” she said. “That is not my agenda in life. I’m here for women and I’m here for myself.” It’s a mindset that has shaped how she approaches dating, which she described as more casual and less serious.
“I’ve never been very thirsty for a man or a partner,” Handler explained. “You’ve got to really kind of get my attention for me to pay attention in a serious way because otherwise it’s a bunch of casual encounters. You know what I mean? I like that.”
For Handler, the idea of personal freedom seems to outweigh the appeal of long-term commitment. She openly admitted that she enjoys living life on her own terms—whether that means spontaneous travel or simply not having to answer to anyone else.
“My whole vibe is about freedom,” she said. “I love the idea that I don’t have to check in with anybody about anything I do. I don’t have to consider or consult with anyone. If I want to get on a plane and go to Paris… I will go to Majorca for a month and f— off by myself.”
Even when asked about growing old with someone, Handler reframed the conversation around independence rather than companionship. Instead of viewing singleness as loneliness, she encouraged a different perspective: “You have to think of yourself as like, ‘I’m free. I’m free now to make every decision I want for myself.’”
That same philosophy carries over into her thoughts on marriage, which she didn’t hesitate to criticize. Handler called it “outdated” and even “a really silly idea,” adding that it’s “not something I attain to do.” She went further, suggesting that marriage feels rooted in old systems of control, saying, “I feel like that’s a very patriarchal thing anyway. You’re kind of like property a little bit.”
Still, she acknowledged her own unpredictability with a dose of humor. “Since I’ve bemoaned marriage my whole entire public life, it would be really hypocritical for me to get married, which means I’ll probably do it,” she joked. “At some point I might just go, OK, f— it… What could go wrong at this point?”
Handler is currently dating a younger man she calls “Cowboy,” and while their relationship seems to be going strong, it hasn’t changed her stance on marriage.
Her perspective is also shaped by past relationships, including her romance with comedian Jo Koy. After their breakup in 2022, Handler reflected on why things didn’t work out, despite her deep feelings.
“There were just some behaviors that we couldn’t agree on,” she said in a later interview. “It felt to me like I would have to abandon myself… but I wasn’t willing to do that. No matter how much I loved this person… I was not going to abandon myself.”
At the heart of Handler’s message is a strong emphasis on self-worth and personal identity. Love, for her, should never come at the cost of losing who you are—and if it does, she’s willing to walk away.