There’s an expression in the Alzheimer’s community, “You lose the person you love twice: Once while they are still living and again when they pass on.” I remember watching my mother suffer throughout this ugly disease. To the world, it appeared I still had my mother but I had grieved her long before she passed…

There are a ton of unhappily married couples but seldom do you hear someone say, “Hey, I might give divorce a try. What’s it like? Can you tell me a little more about it? Do you think I could handle it?” Nah! That just doesn’t happen. Divorce is more frightening to the average individual than…

Okay, so no one chooses divorce.  It chooses you. It is a last resort. An ending to a story you wish was otherwise written. And you hold onto that ending for a long time. No one wants to leave a movie feeling like they could have written it better.  It is, after all, so much…

In many ways, we can learn from our youngest selves. Toddlers live in real time.  There is zero pretense, no games and no holding back. Toddlers demand to be heard and because of this we listen.  Is it possible we complicate things as time moves forward and our egos develop and dig in? Toddlers are…

Nothing like a New Year for a new start! When we think of relationships, we tend to focus on our most intimate ones. In reality, many of the dynamics which evolve in our romantic and family relationships also evolve in our friendships and workplace. Why? Because typically we all play roles within our own family…

Each year we strive to not repeat much of our past. In the relationship world, that statistic is stacked against us. Admit it! When we are young, we believe we are relationship Ninjas! Immune to any sort of duplication of our past! Our mother! God love her! We won’t make her mistakes! We won’t remain…

One day my marriage counselor said, “Colleen, you have the ability to see your own faults and this is unusual. The average person, not even a difficult personality, does not necessarily have the ability to see their own faults.” I realized why he was telling me this. I couldn’t reach my husband no matter how…

It’s hard to admit shortcomings in any aspect of our lives. It’s even more challenging to face the fault in our relationships. It signifies the frightening possibility of surrendering to the potential demise of the complex relationships that sustain us when they do not drain us. There are a variety of ways to kick a…

Couples usually go to marriage counseling with the belief that their better half is the true reason they have ended up in counseling. In truth, it takes two people to arrive at this destination. Some relationships experience a slow and neglectful erosion and therefore, it makes sense both individuals must take responsibility. The time and…

Most people think of ‘intimacy’ strictly in terms of romantic liaisons. The reality? An increasingly fast-paced, technology driven, take-out dinner society is hurting intimacy in all of our relationships. Intimacy is a sharing of one’s self. A few ways to restore emotional intimacy in your life: Pick up the phone: Nothing is perhaps more shocking…

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