Relationships are incredibly complex. 

There are so very many things which can make or break them. 

And this pertains to all shapes and sizes of relationships – romantic, friendship, work, etc.


However, there are things which can improve their chances.

One significant element in fact.

As a former business columnist, a publisher once asked me to submit a manuscript.

“If I do you won’t like the title,” I said. “I will be called ‘It’s Just Not That Complicated.’

Business is hard and messy, it is consuming and exhausting but the truth is at the core it is simplistic. Much like parenting the days can be long and chaotic but if you keep some core foundational principles in place you can stay on track and thrive.

Love is the same.

Be it the love of a significant other or a friend.

There will be the same day to day operational issues as business and parenting. 

Days of poor communication, time-constraints to reach out and nurture the relationship, adjustments to personalities and habits and so on.

But one secret will improve the chances of having the absolute best relationship success.


Attract yourself to confident people and you will minimize other relationship issues.

Here’s the problem. Many individuals appear to be confident. Additionally, many will describe themselves as confident when they aren’t fully and authentically confident.

Some years ago I was sitting with a group of women. As we got up to leave I turned to one of my best friends and said, “I love these women but I fear there could be problems down the road. Several are not truly confident.” Ultimately, they proved to be telling words.

Confidence is the secret to a great one on one relationships but it is imperative to group relationships because the dynamics can be even more caddy, complicated and chaotic without it.

Confidence does not present itself in the form of leadership, extroversion or success. There are plenty of individuals who extol these outward attributes but do not match them internally. Or have what I refer to as ‘confidence’ just not ‘graduated confidence.’

A fully graduated confidence can be easily spotted if you know what you are looking for.

A truly confident individual is respectful, has no need to be in perpetual control, is not difficult, is not threatened, does not make it a habit of talking about other people, is not possessive, is not manipulative, is mature and therefore ego-less, does not need others to think and behave exactly like them, and does not need to be right.

In short, they have the wondrous ability to feel another person’s pain and celebrate their joy. 

They are easy on relationships.

Just as their ego-filled counterparts are incredibly difficult on relationships.


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