Pain is a single word that stands for several – ‘a new beginning.’

One of the most difficult aspects of experiencing pain is not strictly how it impacts us, but also how it unfolds on those around us.

I have long said, one of my biggest frustrations of this period of unhappiness is how selfish it has made me become.

pexels-photo-275812The constant stress, chaos, and unpredictability makes me feel as though everyone else is also living my problems. 

Rather than making meals for a sick loved one, offering someone a ride, making an unexpected phone call or sending a card – I am consumed with putting out fires in my own world.

Sure, there are temporary respites when I am able to be a generous giver again but they are often usurped by some new emergency.

Of course, in my situation, I am ‘controlled’ by another simply because I gave away financial ‘control’ of my life.

But this experience has made me more determined we must strive to be selfless in our pain.

Whether in my instance, it meant having a less naive plan before I left, quitting an unpleasant job, relocating to a place you want to live or whatever.

We have to be self-responsible enough to find outlets where pain can be genuinely processed and expelled.

The following are 7 Ways to Channel Our Pain:


1. Prayer:

When we genuinely and devoutly rely on our faith, we accept pain as part of our intended path. We believe that every single thing is happening for a reason, both the good and the bad.

This eventually (after the tears, yelling and more) delivers us to a place of peace and acceptance.

A grace which erases bitterness and a hope which looks for new doors to open.


2. Counseling:

Pretty much everyone goes to counseling to hoping to hear what they want to hear.

Those who benefit stay long enough to listen to what they don’t.

Pain is far too complex an emotion to disappear quickly.

It takes a fair amount of self-discovery via the proper counselor to get to the root of the problem.


3. Journaling:

Journaling releases the feelings of one person in the sole presence of pen and paper – both safe and quiet interpreters. 

It can be cathartic for both the introverted and the extroverted because the pain just wants to be heard.

It can also help focus exactly what the problem is and bring clarity to the origin of the hurt.


4. Meditation:

There is an art to meditation.

It can be a challenge to go all out zen at the worst time in an individuals life.

Therefore, this type of release may take some guided meditation available via apps or online resources;


5. Self-Renewal:

Let’s face it, we fight pain. Why wouldn’t we? Who would choose it?

But pain is a conduit for new beginnings which aka means self-renewal.

Ultimately, it is a good exercise to examine how the particular pain one is feeling is guiding them.

Does it lean towards a new relationship or a new career? What type of renewal could help? A book about great communication and respect? A class on leadership or career enrichment? An examination of new places to relocate?


6. Exercise:

Exercising is the physical release for the emotionally clinging emotions.

It’s hard to commit to but when our insides are screaming it’s important to try and keep physically healthy.

Because the emotional and the physical are a team and eventually they will reflect one another.


7. Purpose:

Some pain is absolutely unimaginable.

It involves unbearable loss and little can be done to quell it.

This is where purpose must enter and be found.

Faith is the foundation which enables us to discover this type of purpose in our lives. What can be done to achieve this? Is it writing a book about an experience? Starting a foundation to help others? Volunteering at a retirement home? What exactly can speak to the pain endured and make a difference in not just one person’s life but the lives of others?


A lot is written about happiness.

And this self-help junkie writer has read nearly all of it.

But what if the reciprocal is true? What if the journey is not just about looking for ways to find happiness but in properly addressing our challenges and thus, achieving just the right…

Brand of happiness for our individual self.


(Photo courtesy of Pexels)

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