I sit watching television. The night grows dark outside the window. I scan the movies and choose one. It seems like the perfect choice. I think it will inspire me and get me thinking about one day moving forward and meeting someone new in my life. After all, that is what it is about.

I snuggle with my blanket and pillow. I am expecting hope.

However, the movie isn’t quite what I expect. Instead of showing a woman finding love for a second time in life, it focuses on the love that she lost.

It gets me thinking. Actually, it takes me to a place I haven’t been for quite some time. The place where tears live. I don’t visit that place often anymore. It’s not that I have successfully put all the pain and sadness behind me, it’s just that I am gaining enough strength to say no.

My focus turns from the television, to my chocolate lab Hazel, to the window and back to my thoughts again.

When we are young, it seems nearly impossible the thought of loving just one person our whole life. Marriage is scary (at least for many). After all, a lifetime commitment appears daunting when just newly veering off of adolescent fickleness?

Then you get married. The years come and go and soon rather than being scared about one person for life – you can’t imagine life without that one person.

I know I should turn the movie off, only I don’t. I watch it to the end.

It seems I am not really ready for this type of cinema.

I don’t know whether there will one day be another ‘one’ for me – though I can hope.
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