How Great Thou Part

Even now, long past the decision I made to end my marriage, there are three words that still make me cringe…

“I don’t care.”

I know they sound harmless enough. Some might say it’s a good thing to not care so much about everything and everyone. Yes, I get that. I did care too much about everything and everyone.

As one of my friends once put it, “Colleen, most people care about rescuing their friends and their family. You care about everyone. You care about rescuing the world.”

This is and was true. It is the trait of a worrier and an overly empathetic individual.

I blame all the firefighters and cops in my family (I mean this as a compliment : )). After all, this is who I was raised around. People who stop on a crowded New York street to help a stranger, rescue a dog, you name it (and this would be in their off the clock hours).

Oh, and let’s not forget the priest. My uncle was stopped in hospitals, restaurants, on the street. I have vivid memories of watching strangers approach him and ask for help or prayers and he was always there for them.

So their you have it. It’s in my Irish, Catholic, New York City meets Virginia blood.

What I will tell you is that I married my opposite.

I actually loved every time he said the words, “Why do you care?” How liberating I thought. I have married someone who isn’t a neurotic worrier like me. I am saved!

Little did I know that years later those three words were code for “There is nothing that is important to you that I will ever find remotely important to me.” AKA – “I don’t care.”

These three little words carried the power to end my marriage.

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