I drive towards town. The air is colder than the past few days and it suits my morning mood. I fiddle with the radio not able to find a song that I like. I hear the hypnotic voice of Stevie Nicks.

She is singing “Landslide” and the car fills with more stillness than it already possesses. The lyrics speak to me.

“Well, I”ve been afraid of changing ‘Cause I built my life around you.”

The tears that I have held at bay for weeks now (a divorce eternity) find their way from the corner of my eyes.

The past twenty some years on rewind. I am just nineteen. I did build my life around him.

I think of my friend “Daughtry” and how he told me that divorce was just like graduation day. That I am sad for the goodbye and uncertain of the future, yet exciting new things are coming my way.

I grasp at the image of graduation. I hold onto the hope “Daughtry” gives me – only those goodbyes were fleeting not forever. They were ‘until we meet again’ over love, laughter and for life. It was me and Lora, Maribeth, Joanne, Susan, Lorianne, Ellen, Elizabeth, Tracey and more. Somehow our lives would weave and wind together far after our caps flew up into the air.

I will not be taking this person that I built my life around with me after this graduation. He and I will not share the love and laughter and for life again.

I stop at the stop sign. The song and Stevie and me say goodbye – because I know I have to ask myself…

“Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Well, I”ve been afraid of changing ‘Cause I built my life around you.
But time makes you bolder.
And children get older and I’m getting older too.”

And ready for this landslide.

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Me and my friend Joanne

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