As parents, we spend a fair amount of time agonizing over our mistakes. Certainly, we would have done many things differently. If only we hadn’t been grown children ourselves when we made our relationship choices and eventually married. Most of us had no idea our marriages would end. If we had, we wouldn’t have walked […]
I have this best guy friend from high school. I will call him, “Daughtry” since he reminds me of the singer. He will love this reference.
Not long after I begin this whole divorce process (days actually) he’s knocking on my front door. It is no matter that he lives all the way in Connecticut. This is “Daughtry.” I don’t remember a time when he didn’t show up for me in life. He has always been present.
We are grown now, yet I can still talk to him as openly as our teenage years. I can still tell him anything and usually he will tell me more than I want to hear. ‘Daughtry’’ has always been brutally honest. I love this about him! His wife and one of our best friend’s from high school, “Charo” will usually try and stop him, but it doesn’t work.
“You can’t say that to someone,” they protest.
“Why not??” is usually his response back to them.
There is no filter. I have always welcomed this about him. Why? It comes from such a place of goodness. He truly cares that much about his friends.
In high school when he referenced us as his ‘best friends’ we would laugh.
“Which best friend would we be of your many?” we would joke.
He’s always had an enormous amount of guy friends and girl friends.
We go out to lunch that day. I am tired, frightened and struggling. I know that internally I look nothing like the teenage friend he knows so well. I have listened to his honesty these past few years. ‘Daughtry’s’ instructions for me to bring back my inner sixteen year old. His truthful view on the state of my life. I think that he is relieved I have taken this step. Me, I’m relieved to sit with him. To figure out the same type of life dilemma’s with him that I did as a kid.
“What am I going to do?” I ask.
“You’re going to think of this like your graduation,” he says. “You are leaving a part of your life that was once wonderful for something exciting and new. This is the next part of your life. It’s going to be awesome.”
We part ways. I am thankful for this positive visual. It allows me the ability to remember that high school and college feeling. You can leave some of the best years of your life behind you and go on to build even more. Who better to remind me of this than ‘Daughtry?’
I hear the song, “Waiting for Superman.” Of course, it makes me think of my own buddy, ‘Daughtry.’ My friend who is a champion of women. A champion of friendship