As parents, we spend a fair amount of time agonizing over our mistakes. Certainly, we would have done many things differently. If only we hadn’t been grown children ourselves when we made our relationship choices and eventually married. Most of us had no idea our marriages would end. If we had, we wouldn’t have walked […]
I am walking with my friends Cookie and Candy. It’s our first lap around Cookie’s neighborhood. As usual, in between laughs we are attempting to solve the world’s problems as well as our own. Well, usually mine since I am in the middle of this thing called divorce.
We chat about the difference in life as we get older. Ultimately, we loop back around to chatting about our exercising, our mid-life pounds and our health.
It makes me think.
It makes me think about a time when I lived a proactive life rather than a reactive life.
I was happy with my proactive life.
This reactive life is weighing on me.
I think back to the days that life flowed effortlessly and happiness and calm were the roommates of my heart. Now in this thing called divorce and all the year’s leading up to it, sadness and stress have become the roommates of my heart.
I know why I started living a reactive life. I know why things became out of control and life seemed like a minefield that needed to be cautiously side stepped.
I stayed in a bad situation too long. The longer I stayed the more life became out of control. I was one person trying to fix the problem. I became less and less of myself and my strength diminished.
I advise people now to never stay in a bad situation too long. It takes a slice of you that is hard to restore and diminishes you to a point where you need to be your entire whole to eventually get out of it.