My previous relationship was very hard on me and I don’t know why I chose it and continued to choose it. I guess I was lucky to get out of it in the end when I did, as many stay in toxic relationships for many years or decades, for a lifetime or even lifetimes. There […]
“God breaks open the heart again and again until it stays open.” – Hazrat Inayat Khan
I never understood this quote until now.
There’s something deeply destructive in suffering – it keeps destroying that which needs to be let go of – until like falling petals that reveal the center, the heart at its core is finally exposed, raw and beautiful.
The fire of suffering can burn and hurt to staggering levels – yet with experience, one realises it’s actually doing something ultimately transformative and even positive.
Compassion wells up. One gets a glimpse of one’s true nature. And the heart opens to more revealing and ancient love – a love of wisdom and fulfilment – a love of patience and kindness. It reminds me of an ancient oak tree, with so many layers from its core to the protective bark around it. Keep cutting away at the bark, and eventually you will come to the pure life force and real inner strength of the tree – it’s heart.
Our wounds may run deep. Not only to our bodies, yet to our soul, our soul group, our collective consciousness (or “unconsciousness”). It helps to understand that we are part of the stream. We are not separate from our Source. The stream always leads to the ocean which is Krishna or God.
Whatever we go through, we never separate from the stream. Others are also on the stream. We feel and affect each other. All is co-creation.
We can’t see it clearly from the point of view of this now time. We are inside the stream, often too close for comfort, too close for reflection, and definitely too close to separate and dry ourselves out. Being so “wet” with river water, how do we see our choices affect each other and dance together? The alchemy is delicately poised and bamboozling to perfection.
One person may agree to be ill so another person may take care of them. The sick person may wonder, “why me?” – “why am I ill?” or “why don’t I get better?”
The carer may be angry – “why me?” “I don’t want this!” “I didn’t choose this!”
We have chosen together to live out these karmas and perceived suffering. We have chosen to experience our projections and play a role in the theatre of life. We are always only acting through illusions as we float downstream on the river of consciousness.
Often, we have the most angst to work out with our families. They may even be thinking – why can’t I be like other people? “What happened to me to make me how I am?” “How could this happen?” “Where did I do so wrong?”
Here’s the thing – when we reject uniqueness and try to recognise ourselves in other people- we will never find who we are.
We will just keep traveling from one face to the next in search of self.
And never find it.
Even if we search on behalf of another like for instance a child. All the searching will only bring torment and suffering. As the truth is staring us in the face. There is no one like us. We are unique in the entire universe. We are never disconnected. We are part of the whole. Tapped into the Source.
It is the uniqueness and connection (lack of separation) that makes us vital. If we don’t have a job or a home or a car, we are not some lesser creature. We are a living breathing human piece of perfection.
One can upgrade and celebrate or one can despair!
These are our choices. How to see the world.
The more we search, the more we yearn, the more we forget to remember that what we are looking for, is already here now. The stream is within us. It always was. When you step out of your own way, the way appears. When you connect deeply, the ego disappears and you come closer to the Divine.
We can look back at our lives and ask:
Did we see ourselves – did we find our face? Or did we create it…?
Sending love. Keep flowing. The heart is broken many times until it stays open.
“Your heart is breaking until it remains open.” – David Star’lyte
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