My previous relationship was very hard on me and I don’t know why I chose it and continued to choose it. I guess I was lucky to get out of it in the end when I did, as many stay in toxic relationships for many years or decades, for a lifetime or even lifetimes. There […]
When I was much younger, I remember being mesmerised by adult interactions. Not for the content, what interested me more was the emotional responses. I couldn’t understand why certain ideas would create vehement emotions, often with seemingly instantaneous and irrational exuberance. It made no sense why adults took themselves so seriously, and stuck to emotional and thought-patterns that seemed intractable. It seemed more dangerous than thought was. Even the most unfeigned emotions gathered pace and at times, the result was anarchy.
As I developed, I notice it wasn’t just emotions that were unstable, sometimes mercurial, and often irrational. I started to understand and experience the range of thought-systems around me, and the amazing certainty adults had about particular ideas.
Why do people believe their thoughts or feelings?
Or perhaps a better question – why do they take so seriously their thoughts or feelings?
When we are believing thoughts or strung by feelings, we are not experiencing life as it is, Endless Openess. We fall into grace when we let go of the pull of the mind and become what the author Adyashanti calls “emptiness dancing.”
It is not that thoughts or feelings are not valid – they are always valid. Yet when we take them as reality, then that is when we suffer. This preoccupation with forms as we experience them has the potential to spiral into an abyss of our creation.
The moment a thought comes into our mind, it limits our experience and takes us out of the opportunity of being in the present moment, true reality.
We tend to see our patterns as stuck in concrete, unchangeable realities, when in fact any pattern can be changed or at least, adjusted. The personality is not set in stone.
What is it to be endless openess, free of personality and closed concepts of the self? Then we can move within life from a space that is full of love.
Adyashanti points out that,“When we believe what we think, when we take our thinking to be reality, we will suffer.”
According to this concept, we are suffering simply by believing our thoughts to be real. I would qualify that with it depends on the quality of our thoughts and whether it is appropriate to keep repeating the same ones. Some thoughts can actually create peace. The core takeaway idea is that thoughts are not real. Thoughts are not unchangeable. Thoughts are only signposts to show us patterns in our personality and non-acceptance of past experiences. A similar argument can be made and understanding reached about our feelings, because thoughts and feelings are intertwined.
What about the quality of our thoughts?
Underlying our unwholesome thoughts, is the feeling of not being whole – not being part of the whole creation. Deep within the recesses of our subconsciousness, the seed of unworthiness has been planted by traditional religions.
Much angst is caused by disconnection – disconnection to others, disconnection to ourselves and our intrinsic nature, and linked to all of these – is disconnection to life itself, or God nature. It is we who have created a primitive version of God nature that is dark, jealous and vengeful. God is not dark – it is we who have judged ourselves – it is we who have collected shame and guilt through judging our nature and our behaviour as unworthy or unforgivable. Poet, Rainer Maria Rilke famously wrote: “Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence, something helpless that wants our love.”
We are here to be, not to do – we are here in love.
Because our social conditioning has brainwashed us into believing that “doing” is more important than “being” and more than that, that “being” is a character flaw, we are struggling with the pressure to “do” more. The basic void is in our self-identity as not being good, not being worthy enough. We start from this feeling of lack, a deficit in perception. We are feeling we are not and have not achieved enough. The source of these trends comes from the over-dominance of the left-hemisphere of our brain versus the right. A left-brain functioning society views feeling and being in our bodies as “lesser” than manifesting or achieving some goal.
By such thinking, the perfection of imperfection and the wholeness of being alive is diminished.
Would a loving God frown on us for being less than who we are for not having achieved some social status or monetary goal?
It is how we are perceiving ourselves that is at fault – and the whole capitalist marketing system that is based on creating demand. It is a simple strategy to send the message – ‘you are not enough’ – and hence need a branded product to feel OK.
Outside of consumerism, where would we be as a society?
If we refine our idea of joy and fulfilment, it leads us down the path of consuming less and residing in more spaciousness, increasing the room we allow for silence. If achievement defines our self-identity and meaning defines our goals, through a spiritual “sadhana” practice, we can shift our identity into something more pure, refined and long-lasting.
Then we can move within life with the wisdom of humility and the courage of love, from a space that is full of love. It is the empty space that is abandoned that feeds unhealthy behaviours. The cultivation of one’s internal space is much like a garden. It can be cared for and developed and made into something beautiful, or neglected and the weeds allowed to take over.
It takes mental agility to reframe our self-view and a willingness to morph our view that the personality is unadaptable. It takes a new way of seeing things, to remove the barriers and step forward into a new sense of self.
Nisargadatta Maharaj offers a spiritual guideline of what life may look like on the other side of ego:
“Wisdom is knowing I am nothing,
Love is knowing I am everything,
and between the two my life moves.”
The key guideline is to simplify one’s sense of self, be open to change the understanding of what we considered our intractable “personality” – and not take too seriously any particular thought or feeling – to welcome in the fresh pastures of love for ourselves and compassion for others. As one invites in new possibility and the potential for changing personality traits and habits, one enters the field of endless openess.
Photo Credits: Via PixaBay
What do you think – or feel? Feel free to comment down below!
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David Starlyte (ND) – Australia’s Leading Soul-Coach. PERSONAL SESSIONS NOW AVAILABLE VIA SKYPE (Email me for details: firstname.lastname@example.org)
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