Tonight’s episode of American Idol takes us to Dallas, TX, with guest judges Neil Patrick Harris and … cover your ears and get ready for the screaming … Joe Jonas.
Oh, can my heart take the excitement? Probably.
Join me here tonight at 8 for an hour of weirdness, followed by the President’s State of the Union Address. Which may or may not be more weirdness. And you may or may not have been offended by that comment. What can I say? Idol does weird things to me.
OK, so we’re ready to get started for tonight’s auditions, and let me tell you a secret: I saw a list of what is supposed to be the 24 contestants who make it through the Hollywood rounds. I don’t take a lot of stock in those – but I’ll publish what I found and we can play along and see if they’re right.

Up first is Idol auditioning alum Julie Kevelighan, who is a glutton for rejection; she auditioned in 2001. Fortunately, she’s 28 and can’t audition again. Phew.
Lloyd Thomas is a dock worker for an airline, and his rendition of Stevie Wonder’s “Overjoyed” joyfully wins over the judges. Gotta love a big teddy bear with a wife and two beautiful baby girls.
There’s a little mutiny on the panel with contestant Kimberly Carver, singing her original jazz song. Simon doesn’t see anything current with her, but the other three say yes without hesitation. As well they should have. Not current? Can you say Norah Jones? Are Simon and Neil having a little spat?
They can at least agree on Dexter Ward, who assures everyone that he’s the next American Idol. Er … at least he has a good attitude.
Up next is Erica Rhodes, who as a kid was on the Barney show. Now as a grown up, she wants to show that she’s grown up – so she comes out dressed in leather and carrying a whip.
Erica: “I want people to know Barney kids grow up.”
Neil: “To be dirty little girls!”

Erica makes it through with four yeses.
Final contestant of the day is 27 year old Dave Pittman, who struggles with Tourettes, a neurological disorder that causes twitches, throat clearing and other problems. Fortunately he isn’t affected when he’s singing. Simon thinks people will like him, Neil says he’s “crazy brave” and with yesses from Kara and Randy, he’s through to Hollywood.
Coming up is day two and guest judge Joe Jonas; let’s see who the girls like more, him or Simon.
First up is Roderick Hall, a 24 year old actor who performed with Fantasia in The Color Purple. It’s time for him to be a star on his own; he wowed the judges – well, three anyway – with an original, cutesy song about auditioning. But man, he has a great voice.
Up next are some quick peeks at two girls, Dawntoy (didn’t catch her last name) and Stephanie Daulong, both of whom make it through.
Then comes Megan Wright, who has the support of her younger brother, Dawson. She’s got a great voice; Kara said when she walked in she thought it was a joke because of the way she was dressed. Simon disagreed; he liked that Megan was being herself and not trying too hard.
Up next. Vanessa Johnston might be optimistic, but she shouldn’t quit her day job. Even though Simon said she was his worst nightmare, Vanessa left with a happy smile and a dance in her step.
The last contestant of Dallas is Christian Spear, who was diagnosed with leukemia at the age of 4, and went into remission when she was 8. Now at 16, she’s going to Hollywood, with four yesses from the judges.
Next week, the auditions had to Denver, with, it looks like, Victoria Beckham back for another round of guest judging.
So there you have it. If you’re peeking at the Top 24 spoiler … well, I won’t tell you. But I will say this: I hope that list is wrong!
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