“Live long and prosper.” That’s the trademarked parting phrase that one of the greatest of all theologians, Mr. Spock of the First Vulcan Church of Star Trek, uses to close a visit. It’s similar to “praying for you,” but much more exciting—as it is always a prelude to insect-like aliens hurtling out of a wormhole, phasers blasting in an attempt to exterminate the human race ((insect-like, that is, except for the one alien that Captain Kirk ends up romancing, which is inevitably an alluring female humanoid since it would be quite jarring to audiences if he ended up between the sheets with an eight-foot grasshopper from the Orion galaxy). But the human race, of course, never quite disappears, and Kirk wins and gets the girl/alien/grasshopper in the end.

In great entertainment franchises, such as Star Trek or Hallmark movies, the good guys (and gals) always win and “live long and prosper.” And that is what my late wife, Sharon, had in mind when she insisted that the “post-me” path she outlined during her last months for our family and her ‘sister/friend’ Nancy include a Hallmark movie component. Sharon died after a brutal battle with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease. She urged us to channel the Hallmark movie philosophy of living happily ever after. “Promise me,” she said, “that you’ll push for happy endings all the way around” for our girls and her lifelong friend.

Happy endings. Believe that living happily ever after is possible no matter the circumstances and your life will change, she said. A Hallmark-shaped life was one of the ten promises she had me commit to that would allow us to recover from her death…and all of the other ‘stuff’ we face every day. And she even threw in a little Jesus, who promised that ‘stuff’ happening is a normal and expected part of living in this world…for all of us.

Attitude counts. That was Sharon’s point. Time and again visitors asked “How can you remain so positive?” in the face of suffering. And her reply: How can I not? She was a devout Christian who believed in happy endings, both for her and for those she would leave behind as they lived their lives. “My death isn’t the end, not for me and not for you.”

Believing that you will be able to live happily ever after despite a setback, regardless of magnitude—that was the substance of what she wanted me to both learn and teach those she loved. A Hallmark attitude: the secret to a normal and happy life, and recovery from ‘stuff.’ Behaving in the belief that things can work out is the foundation for joyful living, she said, adding that we would all have meaningful relationships after her passing. Even me…although “you’re certainly no Chris Pine (the new Captain Kirk).”

She looked at me with a slight smile. “You know, the girls (our daughters) will go on with their lives, Nancy will develop an extraordinary friendship, and you–you’re going to date again, maybe even find someone special.”

“Like an eight-foot grasshopper? “ I teased. “You really want that for me?”

She smiled. “Only if it’s a Christian.”

More from Beliefnet and our partners
Close Ad