A number of people have contacted me this week to tell me that someone else has started tweeting out the Bible a chapter a day, news that was carried on CNN and A British man, Chris Juby, has just started his own three-year Bible project on Twitter (you can follow him at Biblesummary.) His project does not look as cheeky as my Twible, but if you’re looking for straight-up summaries of plot and characters, I recommend it. It’s a great way of reading the Bible all the way through–which, according to Steve Prothero’s outstanding book on religious literacy, very few people have ever done.

I found myself nodding at this quote: “It’s a really tough process deciding what the key themes of each chapter are and what can be left out,” Juby told AOL News. “There’s so much richness in each chapter of the Bible.” Boy, is he ever right about that. Wait till he gets to the rolling heads in Numbers and Joshua.

Chris Juby emailed me a couple of days ago to say he had just heard about my project and is going to link to it from his website, which is extremely kind of him.

Juby’s and my Twitter Bibles are not the only game in town. I’m aware of a number of attempts to do this. My first exposure was in a sermon on Easter Sunday when the pastor quoted from this hilarious interpretation of Genesis 1:

Day 1: Lighting system installed. BRB. Days 2-6: Some assembly required: sky, plants, cows, people. Left humans in charge, LOL. Day 7: Siesta


LOL indeed. I now follow WhatWouldGodTweet (@WWGT) on Twitter and think the archives are wonderful, though there hasn’t been a new posting since May. I hope this person (whose name is given only as “Holy Ghostwriter”) will continue with the project soon.

Another very funny Twitter Bible is TheFakeBible (@FakeBible), which is even more ambitious than my Twible or these other two Twitter Bibles: this person is going verse by verse, and usually tweets multiple times a day. Some of the posts are hysterical. Right now they’re doing Exodus 9, in which a stuttering Moses tries to warn Pharaoh:

Ex9:13-14 Finally, Moses was let
back in after a full body-cavity search. Moses: “G-God says if you
d-don’t let us g-go, he’ll get SERIOUS.”

Ex9:15 “You d-do understand G-God c-COULD turn Egypt into ‘Sodom and G-Gomorrah II: The Re-Electrocutioning?'”

Ex9:16 “B-basically the only reason He d-doesn’t is, d-dead nations tell no t-tales, and He wants to be famous.” 

“His n-next ‘incentive’ is a hailstorm… the worst Egypt’s ever had!”
Pharaoh: “We’re a desert nation. Bar’s not too high there.”

I hope you’ll check out these Twitter Bibles, and I look forward to many others that are bound to spring up. In the meantime, here are this week’s installments in the Twible. We’re in 1 Kings now, and Elijah’s holding out singlehanded against 850 prophets of the girly-man gods of Baal.

By the way, if you’re in the So Cal area, I will be speaking about the Twible at the Miller-Eccles study group on September 17 and 18. Come by to say hello!

Sat 8/14:
#Twible 1 Kgs 14: OK, that’s it. After 22 yrs, G’s done w/Jero & all his kin. Doggies, here’s supper! Rehoboam’s not much better in the S.

Sun 8/15
#Twible 1 Kgs 15: Good king, bad king. They never seem to last long these days. Old Dav & Sol are actually looking pretty good about now.

Mon 8/16
#Twible 1 Kgs 16: King Ahab of Judah (in the S) marries shiksa Jezebel; worships Baal. Ahab’s so wicked the other kings look like choirboys.

Tues 8/17
#Twible 1 Kgs 17: Recap: Kingdom’s split in 2; Baal worship’s hot; G’s forgotten. Or is he? Enter Elijah, our hero prophet, stage left.

Wed 8/18
#Twible 1 Kgs 18: Theology throwdown; Elij dares 850 pagan prophets to duel. Elij: “Ha! Is that all you’ve got? LMAO @ your girly-man gods.”

Thurs 8/19
#Twible 1 Kgs 19: Elij crashes from theo high; now in deep funk sans Celexa. Wants to die, but G won’t hear of it. Bakes him a cake instead.

Fri 8/20
#Twible 1 Kgs 20: Gleeful Syrians threaten to take Israel’s gold, wives, & kids. Like a country music song! Isr trounces em . . . this time.

Tune in to Flunking Sainthood every Friday for Twible updates and commentary. Next week, Jezebel becomes Pupparoni.

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