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When the Spice Girls sang, “Tell me what you want, what you really really want,” no one was thinking this was a reference to emotional intelligence. Yet, being able to clearly articulate what you want is an important relationship skill. In fact, it is a sign of emotional intelligence. If you can clearly communicate what…

You are tired of his shoes being left at the side of the bed. You almost tripped over them getting up at night. It doesn’t take long for the argument to begin. “Why do you have to leave your stuff all over the place? Just put things away.” He glares at you and says, “Really?…

In doing couples coaching, I draw heavily on the three decades of research by John Gottman, Robert Levenson and colleagues at the Gottman Institute. This group has contributed much to our understanding of healthy relationships through their research with couples. Gottman describes couples as “masters” or “disasters” of relationships. As you would guess, “the masters of…

John and  Jill were not getting along. In talking to both individuals, it was clear that they suffered from 5 relationship mistakes. Here is what I noticed. Little to no alone time. Yes, this sounds counterintuitive to a couple’s relationship, but most people need a little down time to reboot and refresh. It doesn’t mean they…
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