As Valentine’s Day approaches, our culture is quick to focus on romance. You know, all the familiar ways to express love—flowers, chocolates, grand gestures, and declarations of love in all kinds of ways. But before we rush toward celebrating love, it’s worth pausing to reflect on how we love and where our love comes from. That’s where Lent enters the conversation, even if it feels unexpected.

Lent is not a season everyone is familiar with. I was raised in the church but did not grow up observing it. It wasn’t part of our church tradition. For many Christians today, Lent can feel foreign, unnecessary, or even uncomfortable. Some worry it leads to legalism or emphasizes ritual over grace. Those concerns are valid. Lent is not biblically mandated. But when observed with the right heart, Lent can become a powerful season of spiritual growth, one that deeply impacts how we love God and, in turn, how we love others.

The word Lent comes from an Old English term meaning “spring,” a reference to the lengthening days. That imagery matters. Lent is about renewal. It is a 40-day season beginning on Ash Wednesday and leading up to Easter, inspired by Jesus’ 40 days of fasting in the wilderness. Throughout Scripture, the number 40 represents testing, purification, and preparation. Just as Jesus prepared for His public ministry, Lent invites us to prepare our hearts for the celebration of the resurrection.

Ash Wednesday often marks the start of this season. In many churches, ashes are placed on the forehead as a reminder of repentance and human frailty. “From dust you came, and to dust you will return.” Ashes in Scripture symbolize grief over sin, humility, and dependence on God. They remind us that we are not self-sufficient, a realization essential for healthy relationships.

Historically, Lent has rested on three pillars: prayer, fasting, and charity. Prayer draws us closer to God and helps us align our desires with His. Fasting, whether from food, caffeine, sweets, or social media, loosens our grip on comforts that can quietly control us. Charity shifts our focus outward, reminding us to serve and love others, especially those in need.

This is where Lent becomes deeply relevant to relationships. We live in a culture obsessed with self. It is all about my needs, my rights, and my happiness. Lent gently but firmly redirects our attention to the cross, where love was sacrificial, undeserved, and freely given. God loved us first, not because we earned it, but because that is who He is.

When we receive that kind of love, it transforms us. It softens our hearts. It makes forgiveness possible. It helps us love people who are difficult, disappointing, or even hurtful. That kind of love doesn’t come from willpower alone. Rather, from intimacy with Christ.

As a pre-Valentine challenge, consider this: who in your life would benefit if you loved more intentionally this season? Is there someone you need to forgive, apologize to, or simply pay more attention to? Maybe Lent means putting the phone down, praying together, starting your day with Scripture, or asking God to reveal attitudes that damage intimacy.

Lent reminds us that we cannot love well on our own. We need the Holy Spirit to help us love beyond ourselves. Whether or not you formally observe Lent, this season offers a meaningful invitation: to prepare your heart, deepen your intimacy with God, and let His love flow into every relationship.