A new year is a natural time to assess what we want to change. Most of us want to be good communicators because we know how central communication is to every relationship. If you want to improve your communication skills, it may help to pause and ask a different question: Are there communication habits I have that get in the way of better relationships?

As we start the year, here are eight habits worth reconsidering if you want to become a better communicator.

1) How you use AI
The other day, I was writing an email and wanted to be sure I was clear and concise. When I read the revised version generated by AI, it didn’t sound like me at all. While AI can be helpful in many ways, it can also strip away your voice and leave communication feeling sterile and impersonal. If that’s happening to you, consider using AI more sparingly and returning to writing your own emails and texts. Your voice matters.

2) Telling people to “get over it” or “stop worrying”
Yes, we don’t want to live a life dominated by worry or regret. But some concerns are legitimate and deserve attention. Be careful not to minimize someone else’s experience simply because you don’t understand it or don’t find it worthy of your concern. It’s easy to give advice instead of listening. Most people don’t need fixing. They need to be heard. And what troubles someone else may not trouble you, but it still matters to them.

3) Making video calls in public
This one is a personal pet peeve. Video calls in public spaces are intrusive and unfair to the people around you who didn’t consent to hearing your conversation. It happens on flights, in restaurants, and even in grocery store lines. Turn off the video and have your conversation privately. Courtesy is part of good communication.

4) Sending emails that go straight to the point
This is common in my workplace, and I understand why. We are all busy. Still, emails that skip any greeting can feel cold and impersonal. I respond better when someone begins with a simple pleasantry. I’ll be honest, I’ve been guilty of jumping right to the point because I’m busy. But I’m reassessing. For the new year, I’m choosing to lead with a bit more warmth.

5) Forgetting the value of silence
We don’t have to fill every moment with words. Being able to sit with someone in silence and still appreciate their presence is an underrated skill. Comfort with silence communicates safety, respect, and connection. Make it a goal to become more comfortable saying less.

6) Speaking without filtering your honesty
There’s a strong push to “be honest,” and honesty is important. But honesty doesn’t mean saying every thought or feeling out loud. When honesty turns into harsh or harmful words, it’s time to pause. Ask yourself: Is this necessary? Will this help, or will it damage the relationship? Your words matter. Don’t lie, but you also don’t need to express every opinion or emotion especially those that will only provoke conflict. Social media has encouraged impulsive speech. Restraint is often wiser, because words cannot be taken back.

7) Keeping a running list of unresolved conflicts
This almost always ends in an emotional explosion. When enough unresolved issues pile up, one small trigger can cause everything to spill out at once. In my book We Need to Talk, I emphasize the importance of addressing small issues before they become big ones. Conflict resolution is one of the most essential and most neglected skills in relationships. It’s worth practicing.

8) Refusing to tolerate differences
I worry this is becoming a lost skill. The ability to tolerate differences is essential for both healthy relationships and a civil society. Too often, people who think differently are quickly vilified. We need civil discourse, especially in our political conversations. Be someone who listens and seeks to understand another perspective. You don’t have to agree, but you also don’t have to avoid, silence, or protest those who think differently.

Better communication often isn’t about learning something new. It’s about letting go of habits that quietly erode connection. And that is a good goal for the new year.