It all starts with a glance. You’re sipping your coffee, when your eyes meet across the room. He smiles, and suddenly, you feel that rush of attraction. A song plays in the background, adding to the mood. Your heart beats faster. You feel a surge of energy—your body is responding, your pulse quickens, and there’s a rush of adrenaline. You walk over, engage in conversation, and he gently touches your hand. What is happening in your brain?

You’re experiencing a powerful mix of neurochemicals—a “love cocktail” that is activating multiple systems in your brain. Dopamine surges, flooding your system with pleasure and excitement, like a high from cocaine. Your serotonin levels rise, intensifying your focus on this person and fueling a sense of obsession. And the feeling of being “on top of the world” is no accident—it’s all due to these chemicals at play. But will this “love on the brain” feeling last? Let’s break down the neuroscience behind it.

The Brain and Touch

Physical touch plays a significant role in romantic attraction and bonding. When you touch someone—whether it’s holding hands, a soft kiss on the cheek, or a gentle rub on the back—your brain releases oxytocin, often called the “love hormone” or “cuddle hormone.” Oxytocin promotes bonding, trust, and a sense of connection. It also activates the brain’s reward system, making you feel more attuned to your partner and increasing your desire for intimacy.

In fact, research has shown that intimate touch can even lower stress and boost feelings of safety. The key here is that oxytocin not only signals trust but also promotes lasting emotional connections. So, to deepen your bond, small gestures of physical affection can go a long way.

The Brain and Music

Music is a powerful influence on our emotions and perceptions, and it can enhance romantic attraction. A study conducted in Japan found that when music was playing in the background during conversations between opposite-sex participants, those involved rated each other more favorably than those in silent conversations. The researchers concluded that music could make people seem more charming, friendly, and open, leading to increased attraction.

This effect occurs because music stimulates several neurochemical systems in the brain, including dopamine and oxytocin, which are involved in reward and bonding. So, next time you’re looking to make a memorable first impression, consider setting the mood with some music. It could help you forge a stronger connection with someone you’re interested in!

But music’s impact on love doesn’t end there. Singing in groups, like in a choir, is a particularly powerful way to bond with others. When you sing together, your brain’s oxytocin levels rise, promoting feelings of trust, love, and belonging. This is one reason choir members often speak so warmly of their group and develop deep emotional connections with one another. So, if you’re looking for a way to experience love and trust, even outside of romantic relationships, joining a choir or participating in group music-making can be a great option.

The Brain and Dopamine

Dopamine is a key player in the brain’s reward system and plays a major role in feelings of attraction and desire. It’s what drives us to pursue new experiences and rewards. In the context of a romantic relationship, dopamine is released when you engage in novel and exciting activities together. Doing new things as a couple—whether it’s trying a new restaurant, going on an adventure, or taking up a new hobby—stimulates dopamine and helps keep the spark alive.

By introducing variety into your relationship, you not only keep things exciting but also maintain that “new relationship energy” feeling, even in long-term partnerships. The more you engage in rewarding, new experiences, the more dopamine is released, reinforcing your connection and desire for one another.

Boosting Love This Valentine’s Day

Want to enhance those loving feelings this Valentine’s Day? Try incorporating some of these brain-boosting strategies:

• Play soft music: Set the mood and enhance attraction with tunes that stimulate dopamine and oxytocin.
• Try something new: Break out of your routine and engage in new, exciting experiences together to boost dopamine.
• Show affection: Physical touch, like holding hands or a gentle embrace, can release oxytocin and promote closeness.

By making these simple changes, you can boost your brain’s love chemicals and deepen your emotional connection. So, this Valentine’s Day, don’t just celebrate love—stimulate it scientifically!