You knew this question had to be asked. Let’s begin with the need for intimacy and closeness. After all, we are supposed to social distance at 6 feet or more. This virus spreads through contact with droplets from the nose, mouth, breath and saliva, even from people who do not have symptoms.  This means that asymptomatic spread is possible.  So yes, close contact can put you at risk. This is why masks are important. But avoiding close contact is difficult in any intimate relationship.

What about kissing?

If you kiss someone who is infected, you are at risk. Kissing can pass the virus. You should avoid kissing with someone outside your household. It is possible that someone new in a relationship who is asymptomatic will expose you to the virus. This is probably not the best time to begin a new physical relationship. Instead, find other expressions of caring and love right now (see below).

What about sex?

If you touch your mouth, nose or eyes and have sex, yes you are at risk! If you breathe on your partner (how would that be avoided even with a mask!) during sex, you can transmit the virus. And according to the Mayo Clinic, the virus can spread through feces. If I have to explain that, well I think you understand.

Now it appears that the virus doesn’t transmit through semen or vaginal fluids, but scientists have found the virus in the semen of some who have recovered. This means, we don’t actually know how all of this works yet. Right now we don’t think this virus can be sexually transmitted through vaginal fluid or semen. What we do know is that if you have sex with somebody who doesn’t live with you or isn’t feeling well, there is risk. Thus, if you are in a relationship and it is not monogamous, you are at risk. And if your partner becomes symptomatic, you need to isolate for a time.

Intimacy can still be created while remaining at a physical distance. Granted, it is more challenging as touch is such an important part of human connection. So be creative, send love notes, FaceTime your love, talk about what is important, dance at a distance, engage in acts of service together, share your dreams and desires, start a project, etc. Find new ways to develop intimacy until we are able to safely be physical again.

 

 

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