Most of us know someone who struggles with addiction. We often don’t know the best way to respond. On the one hand, we want to be compassion and caring as addiction is a chronic brain disease. On the other hand, we don’t want to encourage the addiction. And we certainly don’t want to enable. So here are a few don’ts to help you navigate help with a person struggling with addiction:

1. When someone struggles with addiction, they may try to get you to join them. Don’t! This is not a way to relate to problems. Medicating causes a person to opt out of life. It does not build resiliency to life problems. The adage, “If you can’t beat them, join them, never applies to addiction. Just say no and remind the person how serious the problem really is.
2. Don’t buy into  good intentions. No one wants to be an addict. They want freedom. But the brain has been changed and will lead to craving. An addicted person needs help through a program, accountability and the power of the Holy Spirit working in them. It takes more than good intentions to beat a brain disease. They have to work a program, develop new coping skills and learn more about how the brain changes and needs to heal.
3. Don’t agree to a short-term program. Programs and rehabs need to go on longer than 30 days. The chances of relapse are greatest during the first few months of sobriety. It takes time to change the brain. Therefore, don’t give in to pleas of cutting back, “being good,” etc. Your loved one may end up dead. They need a long term approach to sobriety. The brain needs to heal and isn’t free from craving during abstinence.
4. Don’t leave the person during the struggle. And don’t give up on them. They need your support and encouragement. It’s too easy for the addict to isolate and use. Now, if children are involved, you may have to remove yourself temporarily, but make sure someone is walking the journey with the addict. Continue to remind the addict that with help, they can beat this.
5. Don’t accept mental or physical abuse from an addicted person. If that begins, direct them to care. Get family counselors, ministers or law enforcement involved. Due to the intense craving for the substance, users will lie and manipulate. Stay in the truth. Point them to resources and help.
6. Don’t give money to a person who needs rehab. Instead, tell them you will send money to the program. You will help, but the help needs to be based on what we know works. Giving an addict money will probably end in use due to withdrawal and cravings. Use your money to support their recovery.
7. Don’t lack  empathy or compassion. Continue to point the person to help. Thus, hold the line when it comes to accountability and care, but do it with love. Recovery is not an easy task, so hang in there through the dark times. Stay hopeful that with treatment, the person can get better. Pray, encourage them in their recovery and build a wall of resources around them.
8. Don’t avoid talking about the role of faith in recovery. The shame that comes with using is wiped away by a loving God who sees our pain. The acceptance and unconditional love of God is powerful. And the strength that comes from a dependence on God is the one thing that can keep a person moving forward. One day at a time. Our weakness is His strength. Renewing the mind with the understanding of never being alone in this fight is critical. And hope is needed.