Beliefnet
Doing Life Together

womens-power-2137563_1920You want to let your partner know how much you love him. Should you gaze lovingly into his eyes, send a text message or buy him a small gift? It’s important to keep the romance going.

You decide to send a loving text and let him know you are thinking about him. He reads it, smiles and then goes on with his day.

The text message is nice and a way many couples show love and interest, but is it enough? Can you really keep romance going using social media and cell phones? Have we lost the importance of direct contact with another person as the best way to deepen intimacy?

What about the experience of eye-to-eye contact-something that might be missing when it comes to deepening romance. Would sitting across the table at a coffee shop and gazing into his eyes be more effective than that text message you sent?

Eye-to-eye contact is powerful. There is something to be said about sitting across from your lover and staring him or her in the eyes. In fact, eye contact is one way to build attraction and interest. So much so that even strangers can feel attraction to each other just from making eye contact.

A number of years ago, researchers Kellerman, Lewis and Laird randomly assigned opposite sex pairs of strangers to stare into each others eyes. After 2 minutes of mutual staring,  the stranger couples were asked how they felt about each other. Those who gazed into each others eyes for 2 minutes reported feeling passionate love for each other. If strangers feel passion and love for those who stare them in the eyes, what could this do for intentional relationships?  Perhaps eye contact is a missing emphasis in love relationships.

So if you are thinking about a great gift to give someone you love this holiday season, try eye contact. It’s free and might even rekindle some loving feelings.

 

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