Doing Life Together

people-2596150_1280With all the negativity going on in our culture, maybe we need a little focus on positive things we can do that make us more likable. Maybe those in the media will take a few pointers from this blog. I’m tired of all the negativity and criticism I hear daily. Every once in awhile I would like to hear the positives about people in the news and watch people actually engaging in civil conversations.

Over the years, scientists have studied what makes a person likable. The results are not rocket science, rather easy to do things that bring people into relationship with you. Here are 7 easy tips to make you more likable. Try these at homes, at work, at church or anywhere you meet people.

  1. Start giving compliments instead of all the criticism. How you talk about other people will influence on your feel about them. Look for their good traits and give attention to those. If you constantly talk badly about people, people will eventually start seeing negative qualities in you.
  2. Act in positive ways. The more positive you behave, the more others will too! This has to do with emotional contagion.We feel the emotions of the people around us and tend to mimic them even when we aren’t aware of doing this. If you want others to be happy, communicate positive emotions and they will catch the feeling. This could be powerful on our use of social media.
  3. Be noncompetitive, warm and friendly and follow this with competence. This is a winning combination around people. Warmth conveys trust. The more people trust you and then see you perform well, the better your relationships. You can show your flaws from time to time. This makes you more relatable and helps you connect with others. But a warm, competent person is one most people like to be around.
  4. Smile and use a little appropriate touch. Smiling helps people remember you and conveys that important sense of warmth. Smiling means you are approachable as well. Add to that a little tap or touch on the arm (it needs to be appropriate) and this also brings warmth into an interaction.
  5. Be trustworthy. If someone tells you something confidential, don’t share it. We place a high value on trust in our relationships. Traits like honesty, loyalty and trustworthiness make people like you and want to be in a relationship with you. These are all vital traits in developing health friendships.
  6. Use humor. Humor is a good step in getting to know someone. We all like to laugh and remember those people who make us laugh. Humor helps with stress and reminds us to not take everything so seriously. And given the stress in our culture and families, humor is a needed stress buster.
  7. Encourage people to talk about themselves. When people talk about their life and share their stories, they remember the person who engages with them. People like good listeners and those who feign interest in their life. People who are genuinely interested in others, draw others. Lose the self-centeredness and learn from those around you.
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