Doing Life Together

family-1822498_1280Rachel’s husband wonders what is going on with her lack of sexual desire. She’s just not very interested in having sex and this is a change. He brought up the subject and she is trying to figure it out. Here are six possibilities that could be contributing to her lack of interest.

  1. Exhaustion due to a lack of sleep:  Rachel has been on a fast track with her job. Sleep has been difficult because she is working long hours into the night to get a project completed.  Because a lack of sleep leads to low energy, fatigue and  sleepiness, it can also affect her sex drive. So getting sleep could help her desire.
  2. Stressed by family responsibilities:  During the day, Rachel is making calls to make sure her teens are at the right activities and  caring for her parents. The stress is getting to her and her libido. Parenting often brings a decrease in desire because you are focused on the needs of others, not yourself. This means Rachel needs to carve out time to be with her husband. And that time should not involve talking about family stress.
  3. Low vitamin D level:  Many people have low levels of vitamin D and don’t know it.  Low levels can lead to feelings of depression, which could be affecting Rachel’s sexual desire. So a quick lab test could let her know if she needs to take Vitamin D. It she is low, it would help her mood.
  4. Poor eating and weight gain:  Rachel has put on a few pounds and feels sluggish and unattractive. She is gabbing fast food on the run and snacking on candy and lots of caffeine. Eating better and dropping those extra pounds would help her feel healthier. And feeling better about her body will translate in the bedroom.
  5. Medications:  This is an often overlooked area. The antidepressant Rachel began six months ago could be having the side effect of decreased sexual desire. Other medications like high blood pressure drugs can do the same. So check the side effects and talk to your doctor.
  6. Relationship problems:  Truth is, Rachel is angry with her husband for a number of parenting issues she has not discussed. Conflict is a desire killer for many people. It’s  time for Rachel to stop avoiding her marital problems and fix the relationship. When the couple works through conflict, desire will likely return.
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